i dream about a perfect boyfriend.
sea blue eyes.
black/ginger hair.
smart.
sight of abs.
british/irish.
protective.
kind.
caring.
understanding.
carries me around.
doesn't want sex before marriage.
calls me "princess".
brings me food.
loves me endlessly, no matter of age or appearance.
potterhead/directioner.
best friend.
taller than me, but not above 10 cm.
no smoking nor drinking.
and in my dreams we live happily ever after with a little boy with dad's eyes and mummy's hair and three years younger girl with dad's eyes and dad's {ginger or black} hair.
oh how i wish to be happy like that.
but i'm fat and worthless.
and my dreams will never come true.
because i'm not good enough for this, for that, for anybody, for happines.
self-hatred and "beauty", i hate you.
i hate you so badly it hurts.
sincerly,
never good enough
