Lost in the Fight

Chapter 20 - Raph's Regrets

*Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.

*Special Note: The absolutely amazing pieces of art for this chapter were created by my super talented friends, donniesgirl87 (left drawing) and pilyarquitect (right drawing). They're both so incredible! 💜

*Author's Notes: Here's chapter 20 of 'Lost in the Fight' and it's another one of my favorites in this story. I'll warn you in advance that this chapter is really long and it's chock-full of angst, but it also has moments of brotherly fluff and humor mixed in. =)

A great big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, vote on, and comment on this story as well as my other stories. Your support has been incredible and I'm so very grateful for it!  Also, thank you to all of my followers. :}

As always, If you are enjoying 'Lost in the Fight,' please continue to vote and/or comment on the story to let me know. Thanks for reading. ;) CJ

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Chapter 20 - Raph's Regrets

Raphael dragged his hands down his face for about the thirteenth time in the past twenty minutes. Slowly puffing out a lungful of air, he leaned his shell even further against the back of the remarkably uncomfortable chair that he had been posted at for the better part of an hour now. For years, he had seen the old, blue task chair in Donnie's lab – and he had even used it on several prior occasions – but never before had he realized just how unbearable the chair was to sit on for any extended period of time. Raph wondered how his genius brother could spend hours on end with his scrawny backside glued to the unpleasant seat. Perhaps Donnie was a lot tougher than Raph had always thought.

Or, at least his butt is . . .

Raph let out another lungful of air, only this time, it was expelled in the form of a yawn. Never in all his life had he felt so utterly exhausted, but yet, he was unable to sleep. He had spent the last several nights either lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling while he should have been sleeping, or sitting next to the cot in the infirmary staring at his unconscious little brother.

"At least one of us is getting some rest," Raph mumbled wryly.

Then, as if to prove his big brother wrong, Donnie started to stir in his sleep again. He soon began to whimper and flail about, trying to escape yet another nightmare he was reliving. Raph swiftly jumped up out of his chair and did his best to hold the genius turtle still, which only seemed to make his little brother all the more agitated. It was as if Donnie was afraid of his own brother.

The worst part of 'Donnie sitting' as far as Raph was concerned was having to watch his younger sibling suffer through the all-too-frequent nightmares. The turtle in red couldn't stand seeing his brother so visibly upset and frightened, knowing that there wasn't a darn thing that he could do about it.

The one good thing about Donnie's nightmares was that they had quickly revealed that he still remembered all of their names. If there was damage done to his brain, it was not so much so that he had lost all of his memories.

The problem was, once Donnie had started having the nightmares, he had then started crying out to them for help. He would call out their names in his sleep, pleading for them to stop his torment. It tore Raph's heart into millions of pieces to hear his wounded brother begging for him to save him from monsters that the older turtle could not see.

"N – no! No, p – please! D – Don't! Please, s – stop! L – Leo! R – Raph! M – Mikey! S – Sensei! Help – Help m – me! P – please!" Donnie stuttered out in a hoarse voice, trying desperately to get away, even in his sleep. His eyes remained tightly closed as he frantically jerked his head from side to side. His hands attempted to fend off an attacker that wasn't there.