Tsundere {z.y}

열셋

Hey guys! Here's the next chapter. ENJOYYYYY!

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~~Hera~~

I was having all these mixed emotions. Yixing's body had cooled down now and he seemed a lot more relaxed but he wouldn't let go of me. I didn't know what else to do. I just laid there still like a plank of wood. I was a lot calmer now although my heart had a mind of its own. It was hurting. But the pain was subtle and then it strangely started skipping beats like it had a sudden mood change. This feeling was unexplainable. He was doing this to me.

I stared at Yixing's sleeping face and suddenly had the urge to caress it. This time I didn't even hesitate. This person was someone who I wholeheartedly resented but when I had seen him in such a vulnerable state just a few moments ago, I felt more than just pity towards him. I felt something else. I knew what it was but I didn't want to feel it. It was wrong. Yet, it felt so right. Even if it was just for a few minutes, I had given my heart to him unexpectedly. Just for a few minutes, I felt love towards this man. I felt his pain that it physically felt like someone had pushed a dagger through my heart.

I touched his face and then to my surprise, my fingers travelled to his lips. I softly ran my fingers around his mouth. I never realised how pink his lips were. I stared at his face. He looked like an angel. A hurt and broken fallen angel who longed for something nobody ever gave him.

I sighed. His chest rose up and then slowly went down. How could I feel such things for him? I had no right to do this. To involve him in my thoughts in such a beautiful way. To portray him in such a humane way. I couldn't fall in love with him. I just couldn't.

Suddenly, I felt myself drifting off to sleep. His arms made me feel safe. There was comfort in his touch. I knew I would despise myself later for doing this but I was willing to accept whatever punishment I would be given. I closed my eyes, losing the battle with sleep.

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~~Yixing~~

The early morning sun light beamed on my face. I scrunched my eyes and squinted. There was a wild thumping in my head like someone was banging it with a hammer. I couldn't remember much from last night except going into some bar and drinking soju. After that, everything was a haze. A chilly breeze made my bare body shudder. Bare? Once my eyes had completely come back into focus. I looked down and realised that I was shirtless and that there was a wet towel laying on the bed, leaving a moist patch. I was mad at myself for being this oblivious and reckless. I knew my limit when it came to drinking but last night, I couldn't stop myself.

Why was I half naked? How would Hera have reacted to my scars? I didn't want to picture the image of her face when she would see me at my weakest. What had happened while I was drunk? So many questions yet not even one answer. Nothing was making sense to me. "Ah" I said out loud, holding onto my head. I was having a major hangover.

Alcohol reeked off me. I hated it. I looked at Hera and my expression softened. She was so close to my face that I could feel her breath on my lips. Her hand lay on my bare chest and her face was in a frown because of a loose strand of hair. I moved it away from her eyes and her features relaxed. I still feared all that would have happened last night. I couldn't remember much of anything. What if I hurt her?

She looked so beautiful and as much as I resisted being weak because of her, I couldn't stop. But I had promised to not let her sway my heart. I couldn't give her the upper hand. I broke myself out of the trance and moved her arm off my chest, softly pulling the blanket over her. I sighed. She started moving and I looked away.