We Were Blue // Completed

11//

"Love is the most lethal drug of all."

-Camila Cabello

* * *

My words sound broken, like I'm a little girl again and my world is burning down in flames, but all I do is stand, and watch. Only this time I'm the one that lit the match, there's no one else to blame but myself. I have to do what's best for me, I'm not doing this because Roman stressed me to, fuck that. This is what I need to do.

All these secrets, all these lies, they're only going to hurt me in the end. I can't handle it, and I shouldn't have to. Maybe it's selfish, but sometimes being selfish is what you have to do to protect your heart from being shattered all over again. And right now, I think another broken heart would only destroy me.

His eyes are wild, his actions frantic as he makes a move to grab for me, but I swiftly dodge the act before he can. "Please Fel, I promise I'll be better."

He sounds desperate, and I have to look away from those pleading eyes. The blood rushes to my ears, as I shake my head no, it takes all my strength, but sometimes letting go is better then holding on. "Don't make promises you can keep Damon," The words taste like acid, giving him up is the last thing I want to do.

I glance over at Roman, trying to keep my gaze anywhere other than on Damon. Roman's pink lips form a soft O shape, as he searches my face for some answers, but unlike the twin's I'm not hiding anything. There isn't any hidden agenda, I'm simply doing what I need to.

Pins and needles prickle in my arms, dancing down to my hands. I think I'm in shock, like when a family member dies, and it never quite feels real. Damon isn't dying, but it's all over, everything we were is officially over, it might as well be dead.

I clench my jaw, as Damon mumbles in a broken whisper "Please don't leave me," I keep my gaze trained on Roman, he shakes his head as if communicating with me not to give in. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to convince myself that this all is happening for a reason. Just as all the bad that has happened in the past is for a reason, I have to go through with this.

I can try to look past all the bad, but it doesn't change the fact that it still hangs above our heads, like a lurking ghost just waiting for the perfect chance to haunt us. He'll come back one day, I say to myself, He'll come back if he's meant to. But right now is not one day, right now is today, and today it's time to let him go.

I blink my eyes open, and try to push away any incoming tears. I turn toward Damon, "I'm sorry," but I still can't look him straight in the eye. He doesn't utter a word, which I guess is better then a fake response, but it also shows just how badly he's hurt.

We were never supposed to end like this, none of this okay, but I guess that's life. I want to hug him, I want to wrap my arms around him and make every little piece fit back together. I've never been able to handle seeing him sad, and it kills me knowing I did this to him. But this time I can't make everything better, because I'm the one that broke him, it's already done and there's no changing that.

I exhale deeply as he strides away from me, like he can't get away fast enough. A tear slides down my cheekbone as I try to keep myself together. It's not fair to Damon to cry, this was my choice, I have to stand by it. I have no right to cry, no right.

Heatedly I swipe at my wet cheeks. "Thank you," I'm climbing into my car when I hear Roman say it.

I twirl around to face the icy eyed demon, "Let's get one thing straight, I did not do this for you,"He stumbles back, like my words physically push him. I couldn't care less how I'm coming across, because all I really want to do it crumble onto the asphalt and curl up into a little ball, but instead I'm standing upright, so I'm doing better then I would think.