Falling Tears

Chapter 35

A/N: Please, please, comment and vote, it would mean so much to me <3 hope you enjoy!

Jimin's POV

Jungkook got up in the blink of an eye and ran after Yoongi, disappearing around the corner in seconds. I followed him quickly, leaving Hoseok, Jin and Namjoon alone to the table, the three looking very confused.

I was too. I knew what was going on but I didn't quite comprehend the whole thing.

Yoongi wasn't eating?

I felt so bad as I sprung after Jungkook. I felt so bad for Yoongi but at the same time I felt something that I knew wasn't healthy or good in any way, and I tried to ignore the feeling because I knew there were more important things than my selfish thoughts. There was no time for me right now.

I ran faster and when I got to the boys' bathroom, I saw Jungkook standing in front of one door, palms pressed against it and the boy looking awfully white. I patted his back when I walked next to him, glaring at some kid who tried to come to use bathroom but luckily took the message and left.

The bathroom was almost silent. I wish it had been completely silent, not because the noises Yoongi made were gross or something but because they hurt.

They hurt me because on some level I understood.

I didn't want to but I did.

Jungkook and I stayed silent on the other side of the door until we heard Yoongi flush the toilet. "Yoongi?" we both asked quietly but there was no answer. We waited, the silence heavy but he didn't say anything. I wasn't sure what he was feeling. Was he ashamed? Was he grossed out? Was he scared?

I almost shook my head to my stupidity as I thought about that. Of course he was scared, that's why he had called yesterday. He was fucking scared about himself and about telling someone. Maybe he felt like I had, like I had no one to trust to, no one to tell things I wanted someone so badly to know. Because if you talked to no one, the pain of your problems alone could be crushing.

I didn't want Yoongi to be crushing under his problems' weight like I had been for a long time.

"Yoongi, come out", I said softly, breaking the silence.

A quiet sniff came from the other side. "I don't want to", he whispered. "You don't understand..."

"I..." I paused for a second and looked at the floor, feeling bad as I felt Jungkook's eyes at me. "I understand."

Jungkook gently took my hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Yoongi, please, come out. Maybe we can help. We know it's not your fault."

A sad laugh echoed in the bathroom. Yoongi turned the lock and opened the door, stepping in front of us, still laughing in a way that made my heart break. Tears were falling down his cheeks, from throwing up or crying, I didn't know, and he looked even paler than Jungkook. "You", he breathed out and swiped the tears off his face, "guys... You don't know anything."

Jungkook walked over to the sink to get a few paper towels for Yoongi who accepted them with a glare and a grunt, tears starting to flow again.

I wanted to hug him so bad. I wanted to comfort him, tell him that it would all be okay. I wanted to take his hand and say that he shouldn't blame himself because that's exactly what he was doing and the laughing proved it all.

"Not my fault?" he asked like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. "Of course it's my fucking fault! I started to think that I needed to lose weight, I stopped eating and throwing up! And look where we are now? In the situation that if", he drew in a sharp breath, "I wanted to eat something, I can't. I can't eat anything!" He kept laughing, tears streaming down his cheeks. He smiled at us and it made me so sad. He wanted to be strong, he needed to be strong and think of the whole thing as a huge joke or it would crush him. I knew that, I had been there.