Falling Tears

Chapter 49

A/N: I'm having hard time coming up with a perfect way to express how much I appreciate your comments and votes...

Jimin's POV

I stood outside, in front of the door, at least ten minutes. I stared at the dark wood door and tried to ease my anxiety with bad luck. At first I had been able to hear them talking but then the whole house had become quiet. I let my forehead lean on the door as I let out a shaky breath.

It wasn't supposed to be this hard, was it? It was just talking with Jungkook, my boyfriend. Nothing to be so scared of. Except that I didn't want to talk, not about the one thing we desperately needed to talk about.

Or do we? What if you let your relationship to die, slowly and painful–

I needed to talk to him. I wasn't prepared to it, I had no idea what I was going to say or what questions I was going to ask. And I was absolutely terrified. I wanted to be with Jungkook, I wanted him to hold me against his chest and tell me everything was okay. Him not touching me was hurting me. I couldn't blame him because who'd want to touch me?

I pitied myself. I was going to end up alone.

Just like you're meant to be.

I glanced behind me and looked longingly at the road. I could've run, I wanted to run, away. Preferably far away. I didn't want to deal with this, I didn't want Jungkook to look at me with pity when he broke my heart because that was what was going to happen, right? He was going to say he was done. Running away seemed like a better idea. I had already lost my mom, I didn't want to lose Jungkook, too. Rationally thinking running away wouldn't help me keep Jungkook but it seemed like an easier way.

But I knew it wasn't. I needed to go inside and talk to him. Yoongi had said I made him cry when I had refused to kiss him. That made no sense. He was the one who didn't want to kiss me!

Just ask him why he's being like that. He might have a reason. Yoongi's words echoed in my head. The reason was that I had become repulsive. Yoongi's words had helped nothing.

I took a deep breath before turning the door nub. I didn't want to do this but I had to.

The bad voices in my head were loving this situation. Maybe after he breaks up with you and decides he doesn't care, you can finally get rid of that fat of yours. No one will stand in your way.

Chim the voice tried to be patient. Maybe Yoongi is right, maybe he has a real reason.

Who needs a real reason when you're a fat-ass?

Shut up! Chim the voice screamed.

I stepped to the hall and closed the door silently behind me. I kicked my shoes away and looked around, wiping me sweaty palms on my jeans. My head was a mess and I was too nervous and sad to this.

"You finally decided to come in, huh?" Sumin asked as she stepped out of the kitchen with a spatula on her hand. She looked sad too. Her eyebrows were tucked into a frown and I hated how worried she was. Did she know what Jungkook was going to tell me? Had she started to feel bad for me already? "Jungkook noticed when you came but didn't come in", she continued and placed her hands to her hips. "That was fifteen minutes ago. And you were already late. He was worried."

"Why?" I asked before I was able to stop myself.

Sumin sighed and went back to the kitchen when we heard something boiling too hard. "I know you're mad at him, but he came home crying and was so worried", she said with her back on me.