Falling Tears

Chapter 8

Jimin's POV

"I've survived my first day in your school, Jimin!" Sumin screamed as she saw me and Jungkook leaving school together. She joined us and smiled at Jungkook. "How was your day?"

He smiled back. "Fine, I guess. Though one of Jimin's friends was giving me a headache."

I glared at him and rubbed the back of my head. "Giving you a headache?" Tae had not been happy about my comment about him and how he treated girls. So, he had given me hard time at gym. I had the bump in my head reminding me of that. Lucky to him, we had played basketball and he had "accidently" thrown the ball straight to my head more than a few times. He didn't even bother to make it look like he hadn't meant to do that. He had said: "Jimin, your head was on my way" and continued playing. I wished he would grow up but while I was waiting that to happen I tried to come up with things to annoy him with even more.

Maybe I should grow up.

Sumin looked over at me. "Mm... Yeah, Jimin, your friends..."

"They're fine. At least some of them. I'm sorry Tae was such a jerk."

Sumin looked amazed that I wasn't being grumpy anymore. It may have had something to do with the fact that I had laughed the whole gym class – well, almost full, I haven't enjoyed the ball hitting the back of my head every five minutes – to Tae's childish behavior. Sumin nodded. "It's fine. Thank you for standing up for me."

I waved her off. I didn't want her to feel thankful. That would mean she would try to do something back. I didn't like people doing stuff for me, it made them wonder later why they had bothered.

When we arrived home Sumin went to the kitchen and shouted that there was a letter on the table. I walked to the kitchen already knowing whom it was from. Mum. I sigh when I saw I was right. The note was the usual. She said that she was sorry for being away (without meaning it) and that she had left some money. She had. There were bills next to the letter.

Jungkook read the note behind me, across my shoulder. He watched as my hold tightened and I wrinkled the letter to a ball with my hand. I went to the garbage and dropped it to it without thinking much. Jungkook eyed my hardened expression and so did Sumin. I walked past them and started to climb the stairs.

"Jimin?" Sumin asked.

"Yes?" There it was, my cold voice again. I was just waiting for the moment she asked why she hadn't met my mother and where she was. I closed my eyes, telling myself that it was fine. She was allowed to ask. I was the problem, I wasn't ready to answer.

Why was I always the problem? Why couldn't it be someone else?

"Can I go buy some food with the money? You don't have much..."

I was so surprised by her quiet voice I turned around and stared at her with a frown for a moment. It looked a lot like she was afraid of my reaction.

I nodded. "Yes. The money is for food. You can go if you want. You find the store if you walk to the other way than when we went to school, then turn to right and then left. You should find there."

She smiled a little. "Thank you. I'll leave then."

I nodded again and continued my way to my room. Once I closed the door behind me, I let myself fall on my bed. I felt my eyes wet but I refused to cry. I had felt good for a while, this was the universe's way of telling me I wasn't allowed to. Maybe there was a reason to this never-ending pain, but I didn't really believe so. I turned on my bed so I was now looking at the ceiling. It was plain white, no cracks or spots on it to break the ocean of whiteness. I hated it. That's how the world was supposed to be. Everybody was supposed to be the same as in the ceiling. Every centimeter was the same as the one's around it.