Out of Body, Out of Mind

Christmas almost failure

2:08 pm

Diane said that was a good start last week but now wants at least one entry all revolved around one point that was stressful to me. So I'm going to write about how Christmas almost failed.
When you read this Diane, we did Christmas with my family last week. I know it's January but Christmas is so busy, you get me.

First I would like to point out that it took as the whole month of December to pick a date that we'd all be able to join my mom in her small apartment for dinner and presents. By all I mean my mom, her new boyfriend and his kids, my older sister and her boyfriend, me and Mike, my younger sister and her boyfriend, and my baby sister from my moms second marriage.
My older sister is so hard to please but she has Sundays and Mondays off work so we decided for the January 8th, a Sunday.

It was still the holidays so I was working harder and more than usual. And I get a text from my mom on the Saturday before. It said "Melissa doesn't get back until late, dinner has been moved to Monday. You can come help me tomorrow."

To clarify, my younger sister Melissa, went to Jamaica with her friend for a week prior to that Sunday. Also to clarify, I am a good daughter and I offered to help my mom get ready because my mom has bipolar disorder and sometimes gets distracted from stressful things like dessert.

I worked my usual, 10-6 shift, then went straight to her apartment. My mom is a crazy woman. I'm not saying she's crazy because she's bipolar. I'm saying she's crazy because sometimes she is complete nuts.

We decided that we weren't going to have a formal dinner, we would have appetizers, cheese and crackers, some veggies and maybe chips. And, of course, dessert. I was in charge of one appetizer and all the desserts. To be fair she only wanted two desserts but I'm still mad.

Me and Mike got to her house so we could make the dessert and leave. We got there and she's sitting on her couch with her friend Eddy who is loud and will share all his opinions. Much like her boyfriend, James, who is loud and likes saying how feminism is cancer. (Don't worry I'll bring that up again later).
We went straight to the kitchen because my mom is very preoccupied and not seeming to pay attention to me. Her kitchen is a mess. Dishes everywhere, 2 different pots with old macaroni in them. She always seems to have old macaroni when I go over. And the mess itself is stressful.
I looked around and we were missing brown sugar. So we went to the store. We came back and they're still sitting where they were when we left.
I start to make a peanut butter dessert and I realize the only measuring cups she has are the ones meant for liquid. The ones that are like bowls with lines on the sides. It's hard to measure margarine like that.
So naturally, I asked her if she had any real ones. I asked a few times then she finally answered with no. For a bit I tried to do it with those, then my mom and Eddy went for a walk.

So I decided I would just help her out and I tried to do some of the dishes. I could make the desserts at home. The dinner was the next day and I knew if I didn't do them, then no one would.
I sent Mike to go watch something in the living room because I could feel my stress level rising. I started to rinse off the dishes and cry. Both at the same time. I almost puked about four or five times but I finally managed. And by that time I wasn't even crying. It was just like clockwork. My hands were washing the dishes and I was doing them. I didn't feel myself doing it, they were just being washed. Which I was thankful for. Then I got to a really gross bowl that looked like someone actually puked in and I snapped out of that blissful nothingness and started crying again.
When Mike came to check on me I started crying even more. I couldn't help it. That day, nothing was going right. I couldn't make the dessert and there were counters covered in dirty dishes. I couldn't do the one thing I went there to do.
I was in the middle of trying to do the dishes again when I get another text from my mom.
"Can you let your sister in, her dad's dropping her off now."
So at that point, I don't want to be there. I don't want to do the baking, I'm already doing the dishes, and I have to babysit Bailey.
I don't even remember the time until my mom came home and saw me alone in the kitchen.
I told her it was unfair that I had to do all the prep work and she said my older sister, Anne, didn't have to do anything because she made a money donation to our family dinner. And her boyfriend didn't have to do anything because he already has to deal with us.
I didn't even want to go. But, I knew I had to.
The next day I got up and I showered and I went to that family dinner and I smiled dammit.
I got there around noon and already she wanted my boyfriend to drive her to all these places while I had to babysit Bailey, who's actually 6 by the way, she didn't go to school that day, and do all the baking.
Bailey loves to help but it just slowed down my time. It took me until 5, to get everything done.
That was when everyone was supposed to show up.
Melissa and her boyfriend showed up an hour and a half late but what can you expect. She's sixteen.
After that the rest of the night went pretty well. Even if you include how James kept telling everyone that feminists suck, since yes, a few people who claim to be feminists are bad ones, all of them cause cancer and should be smite from the earth.

So there you go, Diane. The almost Christmas crisis, a terrible time of stress ended up okay. Just like my life. I'm kidding, I'm not a terrible time of stress...