XXVII Imagines (Lauren/You)

Abuse

A/N: ALL KINDS OF WARNINGS! This chapter contains abuse, profanity, self harm etc.

I was lying down on the couch after brushing my teeth. I haven't been feeling well lately and I couldn't eat. When I did, I always ended up with my head hanging over the toilet seat to empty my stomach.

My fiance is late again. She went out with the other girls to celebrate for winning the "Best Collaboration" VMA award.
I, of course, watched it on television. Since I barely go out. Because of her.

I got a few bruises on my face. And I don't want people to question me.. Again.

It all happened after Lauren and I got engaged, she started changing and acting different.

She's not the Lauren I fell in love with.

We used to spent all our free time together. Go on dates, cuddle, cook together, have movie nights and make love to each other.

But now.. She only comes home to sleep. And leaves me early in the morning. Everyday.

I hope she doesn't come home drunk. That only means trouble and more bruises.

It's something I shouldn't get used to. But I did.

I got used to her, coming home drunk, furious for some reason and beat me up for it.

I've had people asking about my swollen and bruised lip, the cut on my eyebrow, the red marks on my neck and cheeks...

But not the cuts on my wrists. Because I always hide them. And I wouldn't want it the other way.
Those cuts are only for me to see. To show me I still am alive. That I bleed. I'm not dead. Even though I sometimes wish I was. Because Lauren made me feel like I'm useless. Like I'm just a piece of waste. Who's better off dead.

Those are the words she tells me every night.

And tonight I decided to make a difference. I planned on telling her today. Revealing the suprise I had for her. For us. Maybe this "small" suprise would change everything.

I turned off the television when I heard the sound of her car driving into the garage. Her keys unlocking the door. And her footsteps getting louder.

"Ugh..." I heard her groan as she entered the living room.
I slowly stood up from the couch and approached her. "Lauren? Did you drunk drive again?" I almost whispered. Scared of pushing the wrong button.

She took off her jacket and threw it on the floor. I bend over to grab her jacket, before I could stand up, my face was met with the cold floor. Making me groan in pain.

"F-fuck off, you worthless.. w- whore."

I laid there for a while, scared of making a wrong move.
When I thought she left, I tried to stand up again. But she kicked me on my stomach and that's when I knew, I need to stop her.

"S-stop! Please, Lauren!"

In pain, I forced myself to get up and put my arms around my stomach. "Please, b-babe."

She looked at me in confusion. I never spoke when she abused me, knowing it only angered her even more.
Her eyes left mine, now watching my hands that were protectively wrapped around stomach.

Her face dropped from confusion to anger again. "You fucking p-piece of sh-it! How d-dare you to ch-cheat on me! I- I knew you were a- always a s-slut! But never would've thought you f-fucking cheat on me a- and get p- pregnant! HOW D-DARE YOU?!"

Her eyes were burning. Never have I seen her this angry. I knew, if I don't try to stop her or escape, I'd die.

My eyes focused on her movements. And when I realized she was about to grab me, I ran. The best thing to do was get out of this house as soon as possible.
Run somewhere safe.

I was faster since she's drunk. So I quickly got to the front door and opened it. I heard her shouting and cursing behind me.

I had to run faster.

As I was about to run down the stairs, cold hands that used to be warm and gentle, grabbed my wrist and turned me around. I winced feeling my cuts open and bleed again. I tried to pull back out of reflection. And I lost balance.
Her hand, unwillingly, let go of my hand.

It was like everything went in slowmotion. Our fingertips trying to reach each other but only moved away.
Our eyes met. Even if it was just for a few seconds. I saw Lauren, the Lauren I fell in love with.

And her eyes full worry and regret were the last thing I remembered before everything went black.