The Boy On The Moon - Ongoing

4. Wake Up, Wake Up

If you could have one thing in the whole world, what would it be?

Money? Fame? A boyfriend or girlfriend? The latest video game? A new phone? The latest gucci boots? A new house? The worlds best paint set? Ski gear? A viola? 

The thing is, we don't all get everything that we want. We hardly ever get what we truly want.

And I can't have what I want. I will never get what I want. Because it's gone, forever.

I want a family, I want my memories, I want the love of my friends. I want to live, I want to wake up.

But I'm half dead. I'm in a coma. I'm in hospital in a critical state. And I feel numb, I feel like I could have done more, but I've failed everyone. And now they all hate me.

The Boy on the moon hasn't come back yet. Neither has the Kione dude. The doctors have though, and a few nurses. They come every couple of minutes to check on me. It's a bit annoying, I don't want the doctors. I want the boy to come back. He was good company, he talked to me as it I was there, but he wasn't being pushy or mean. The Kione dude, his voice is like he doesn't want to be there, he doesn't like being in the same room as me. But it's like he wants me to forgive him for something. But I don't even know who he is, so I can't forgive him. I want to forget him for now.

Forgive or forget?

Forget.

If you could tell all the people in the world, one thing, before you died, what would you say?

I would tell them to be happy, because you don't live forever. And there are times when you might feel depressed, like the world hates you, but you have to push through, because to the world you might be just one person, but to one person you might be the world.

The boy on the moon was my world. He was the only reason I was still alive. I was holding on, because I wanted to talk to him. I wanted just to believe that I was alive. It was like I was sick and Elliot was my medication. Of course that doesn't help, because I am sick and Elliot is like the only reason I'm alive. So that doesn't really help. Or maybe it does.

Dear Elliot,

Thank you for being my friend.

I know that we haven't been properly introduced, but my name is Sophia, I think, I can't really remember anymore, but someone said that my name was Sophia.

Thank you for coming to visit me even when I'm in a coma, even if you weren't meant to be there.

I want you to know that you're like a lifeline to me, you're why I'm still currently breathing and my heart is beating.

But because I'm in a stupid coma I can't tell you that, you wouldn't understand, because I wouldn't be saying anything.

And so this is also a letter to myself in a way.

Me, wake up. Wake up me.

Thank you,

Me

It might seem pathetic that I'm writing a letter in my head to someone, and myself. But it is what I would say to Elliot if I were awake.