Maybe next year

Chapter 2

I walked into school which to me was the only place that was peace to me. Peyton always called it "a no good place", but i have become very fond of it. Mostly because people enjoyed my company there. Well i didn't have many friends but i did have very influential teachers.

Boys would stare as i walked by. I haven't come to comprehend why. Peyton called me quite the "heart throb" but inside i was nothing special. Everyone knows that. I sat at my own lunch table with my own locker far from any human interaction and i had no friends. But I liked school. Fathoming it must be hard.

Walking and walking and walking and then I did more walking and even more walking just to get to my first class. Of course they put my locker on the complete opposite side of the campus. I told you I had my own locker far from any human interactions. You might not have realized how far it actually was. I usually sit in the front of the class but not today. Today is different. Today's topic is heart break. The teacher usually gave us some boring, un-needed topic to write about to get us working into writing. Heart break. All the kids will probably write about love heart breaks or something that I have personally never experienced, but me I wrote about losing my father that dreadful day. That dreadful day that I lost everything I had hopes and dreams on. After my father i was left with nothing except my subconscious that made me do so many stupid things like climbing down the fire escape at night to free myself of my mother that once was a perfect young woman but now a drug addict and alcoholic. My father was the one to walk me down the aisle and give me away. My father was the one to watch his grandkids crawl and toddle around. My father was supposed to be here. Before I even realize it I had written over 4 pages with all this emotion i had bottled inside me. It was another reason i loved school. It was where i could express my feelings to someone or even just a notebook that i couldn't even express with Peyton. I didn't have the right words for all of it. I still don't.

"Jamie why don't you share your entry with us?" I was afraid of this. If I could see myself right now I think all the color drained from my face within seconds. "I...uh...can't...sorry" He seemed confused maybe no ones ever told him no.

"And why is that?" I'm startled by his question. i hoped he would have just let it go and asked someone else.

"Bbbbecause it's too personal." i choke. Faint chuckles are heard amongst the room and the air has thickened.

"Nothing's too personal here. Its school." he emphasizes with hand gestures. "Were waiting."

My breathing hitches and I feel as if I could faint or run out of the room in any second. I clear my voice for a couple of seconds to buy myself time.

"What is heart break? You probably think you've experienced it, but to be honest you haven't. Not like I have at least. When i was young..." I always promised myself I would never expose any background on myself or secrets so i went with the next best answer. "my grandmother passed away. She was my everything. She taught me many life lessons, so when she died I was devastated." That's it? That's all you could think of Jamie? .My god i have to enroll myself in improve classes. But my teacher seemed to have bought it because he went on to the next person. I didn't pay much attention to the rest of class because I was lost in thought.

The bell sounded bringing me out of thought. "Alright all you delinquents are dismissed get out! And Ms. Jamie a word please?" "Ooohhs" and "she's gonna get in trouble" were heard throughout the room until everyone left.

"Yes?" i say as polite as i can, but it fails showing off my attitude.

"I know that's not what you wrote your entry about today." My heart sinks. "so i will need your journal so i can read it." Hastily grabbing my journal i hand it to him and with that I'm off running out of the classroom and out of that school, not daring to look back.

Keep the comments coming i appreciate feedback thanks! love ya guys!!

~Maddie