they say your life can change in an instant. i never really understood what that meant... until right this instant. i dropped my phone and quickly ran to my closet throwing on the first clothes i saw. i was in shock life was finally going the way it was supposed to go. tears slowly ran down my cheek as i kept restating in my head she's strong she can survive, she's strong she can survive. my throat burned and my eyes welled up. she's strong she can survive that was the only thing on my mind right now. i started running down the stairs and turned around to see hunter peacefully sleeping. " if i wasn't with you tonight she might just be alive right now" i whispered. i knew it wasn't his fault or mine but it felt like it. i got in my car and sped down the streets it was 3:00 am and no one was out yet. i had trouble seeing the roads my eyes burned from holding back tears that i knew i should let out. i turned on the radio and "landslide" came on. " just my luck our song" i said wanting to scream as i turned the radio channel. then " over my head" came on the radio. i let it play. even though it made my guilt even worse. the tears were worse now it felt as if there was a huge lump in my throat and my heart was being ripped out of my chest. i got to the hospital and ran just ran as fast as i could to the front desk. " hi how can i help you" a lady said looking down at her computer as if she didn't care. it hurt me. my face was pale and i couldn't speak. i tried to but nothing would come out. " mam how can i help you" she said looking at me now worried. i was able to say her name but barely. " loraine alben" i choked out. " is she a hospital patient" she said now looking at her computer while typing her name. i nodded my head. " okay well she is in the icu planned to go into surgery soon, she is in very critical condition" she said with no expression. " okay well can i see her" i said angry now. " are you family" she said annoyed. " yes i'm her daughter" i said with a tear rolling down my face and throat hurting like hell. " alright well i'm not sure if the doctor will let you see her yet but she is in room 305 in the icu" she said smiling. i turned around and started running again. i found the doors to the icu. there was security there " hi mam what are you here for" he asked. " i need to see my mother she's in room 305" i said. " okay step right through the metal detector then we'll let you through" the security guard said smiling. i wanted to smack the smile right off his face. it wasn't just any smile it was a pity smile. " sure" i said. i stepped through then was let go. i looked at all the door numbers. i finally found 305. i looked at it. every part of me hurt. not physically but emotionally . i already lost my father and she's all i have left. i can't live without her. i reached to open the door right as i opened it doctors and nurses rushed out pulling mother in a hospital bed she was unconscious. i was hurting even more a pain that was worse then anything. they were running and pushing her in the gurney. " mom" i screamed breaking down. " she's not going to make it" i heard he doctor say to a nurse. " well we have to give our best effort" the nurse said. they're speaking became faint as i stood against the wall slowly falling down. my eyes were filled with tears. if i would have just stayed with her last night none of this would have happened. my phone buzzed but i ignored it. i just sat there in my own tears.
