they say there's 5 stages of grief
number 1 isolations & denial
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i walked into our apartment and looked around everything was untouched and left the same as it was before i left. i walked upstairs to my bedroom and plopped right onto the bed. i looked out he windows that was the whole wall next to my bed. i saw the busy streets and people walking as if they were in a hurry. i looked closely they all looked like ants from up here but if i looked close enough i could make out what they were. i looked one man looked as if he was in a rush he was wearing a black long business coat as what it seemed like from up here. i look at all the different people walking by. i saw two specific people it was a little girl hugging who i supposed was her mother. a weak smile appeared on my face and a tear rolled down. " i miss you mommy" i said whispering to myself. she can't be gone i thought. she's just at the hospital with her sister who is also still alive and well. she'll be home tonight and she'll text me any minute. i tried convincing myself. i pulled my phone out and saw text message same misses calls from hunter but i ignored them. i went to the key pad and typed in my moms number and pressed the call button. it rang then went to voicemail. " hey call my momma back later" the voice message said. that was my voice this was so long ago i thought to myself. " alyssa hand me the phone hey i'm probably busy right now and can't pick up the phone call me back" she said half laughing half excitement. that must have been years ago i thought to myself. i sat there again and just through to myself with the occasional reminiscence. tears fell down my face but i paid no attention to them. i just sat there in silence until the day light turned into darkness. i looked at the time "11:57 pm" i yawned and pulled the covers down and slipped in. " goodnight mom... i love you" i yelled even though i knew there would be no response. if i would have been home there would have been a response i said wiping a tear away from my face. i quickly fell asleep.
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i rubbed my eyes as i began to wake up. i quickly grabbed my phone and went on social media to explain why i haven't been on for 2 days and won't be on for a while . i sighed it's real. she's really gone.
