(A/N this is a big trigger warning, don't read if you have been sexually harassed or raped, your discretion is advised, ALSO I make most of the bad things happen to Cas, because Cas reminds myself of well me, and I've been hurt so I make was the victim most of the time.)
Castiel's POV
I was sitting in the motel room. I thought I was safe, I thought Dean would be back within thirty minutes, but I didn't know how much could happen within only thirty minutes. The thirty minutes that would ruin my entire life. He walked in all high and mighty, I wasn't an angel anymore so I was vulnerable. I knew Dean was going to protect me, so I wasn't worried about the random stranger that walked into the motel.
"I saw you at the bar and followed you. Where's your boyfriend?" the stranger said with a smug smile.
"He's coming back soon" I said cowering to the corner.
"Oh so I guess were alone then" the stranger spoke once again.
"Why?" I asked as the stranger stepped forward and put his hand on my thigh as I struggled.
The stranger pushed me onto the bed despite my struggling. I screamed and screamed. He took off my clothes, and starting pushing his fingers into me, I still screamed crying and trying to get out of his strong grip. He just told me to calm down and said that we were just having fun. But I was having anything but fun. He started pushing into me, I fell limp I stopped screaming I just played there with my head in the pillow while he replaced his fingers with his dick. I played there with silent tears falling down my face and thinking of all the ways I was letting Dean down. This is me losing my virginity right now I hadn't even made love to Dean yet, and this random guy was raping me. I just laid there I gave up the only movement was me hitting my head against the headboard because of how hard he was pushing into me.
Dean's POV
I finally get to the motel. I couldn't wait to set up this meal for me and Cas, I was going to cook for him and make him feel special, because I know he's been feeling down lately.
All I hear is loud moaning coming from the bedroom, my stomach dropped for a second, but then I realized that it was one sided moaning and it wasn't coming from Cas.
I throw the groceries out of my hands and barge into the motel room.
What I see will cause me to have nightmares for the rest of my life. I see someone pushing into my angel and Cas laying there limp the life gone from his eyes, tears streaming down his face and him trying to call my name.
It all happened in a flash. I pushed the guy off of Cas and started punching him over and over again. He was bleeding badly and I told him to run and to never ever come back.
Cas still lay limp on the untidy sheets.
I walk over to him and lightly place a hand on his shoulder. He starts screaming and sobbing and grabbing his skin like he was trying to clean himself.
I tried to calm him down. He stopped for a second and looked at me and then did the most unexpected thing, grab me and hold onto me. He gripped the back of my shirt and sobbed loudly, so loud that I bet the whole motel heard it.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, shhh baby, shh, your ok your safe now" He sobbed louder burying his head deeper into the crook of my neck. I stroked his hair, trying to calm him down.
"It's alright baby, I got you, I got you, your safe, I'm not letting you go" I kept on saying these things over and over again, until he started to calm down just a little bit.
I pulled him off me a little bit and looked into his teary eyes.
"You wanna talk about it" I asked, he shook his head slowly.
I slowly laid him down on the bed, and kissed his temple. He quickly grabbed my arm, and clinged to it. This physically pained me. He whispered stay.
I laid down next to him and he turned and clung to me again. It was like I was his life line, he wouldn't let go of me.
I drove back to the bunker that night with him holding my hand tightly, ever since it happened he wouldn't let go of me. I partially blamed it on myself that this happened, I could have been there. I wish I had been there.
Cas hadn't talked. He just clung to me. I told Sam what happened and I could see the tears pooling in his eyes.
Castiel's POV
It had been a week since it happened and I clung to Dean non stop. Wherever he went I went. We never left the bunker. I told him I was too scared.
He was helpful. I woke up from a nightmare screaming loudly and thrashing around. It was where the stranger came back and he did it again, but Dean was there tied to a chair forced to watch.
"Hey baby, shh your ok, I'm here go back to bed" Dean said pushing the hair out of my face.
I fell back asleep quickly.
I promised Dean that I wouldn't hurt myself. He kept an eye on me and took care of me. Dean loved me.
It had been a couple months since the incident. I was ready. Me and Dean were ready.
We were making love when he started pushing into me, I started crying slightly.
He noticed.
"baby I'm right here, it's me, Im going to protect you. I will protect you"
And Dean kept that promise, he kept it, he protected to me. Five years later he was on one knee asking me to marry him. We got out of the hunting life. He meant it when he said he would protect me because he did.
