Looks Can Be Deceiving

C H A P T E R 2

I have cancer.

Them three little words can stall the breath passing in and out of you. They are so little but holds one of the biggest burdens known to all mankind. The word cancer alone have you in panic, but when someone close to you put the words I and have in front of it, it hurts. Its like a bullet skimming an already broken bone.

I sat there for a while after I locked my phone. Debating on what I should feel; angry, sad, devastated, heartbroken? Its saddens me because I actually can't come up with any type of emotion. My brain keeps trying to pick a emotion for me but none click. You would think that I didn't care about my best-friend, but here I am shell shocked. Like I just took a bullet to my chest and time hasn't caught on to what happened.

What? Wait, maybe he didn't text it right. Questions is a persons best-friend during a time of panic. You have nothing to rely on but questions. You don't know how to react but with questions. Maybe its just me, but I can't come up with not one. Normally I would have a million and two but not now. Every question just turns into no questions. Each question that my brain try's to form just turns into mush. Cancer is unquestionable. How did you get it? Who knows. You can't ask why, but maybe you could ask when.

Click.

Time.. No matter how much you want it to go slow, it always seems to catch up. It zooms past you going 200mph and doesn't bother to look back to see where your at. It waits for nobody, not even the time keeper himself. So when it finally did catch up to me, it knocked the wind out of my body. Literally.

I found myself grasping for air as reality sunk in like the titanic. It was then that I felt the multiple tears racing down my face with ease. One after the other, then more. Then it hit me. The pool of emotions that I couldn't seem to grasp onto started to stick, and stay. My tears falling down faster then the twin towers. My best friends voice going from a faded out scream to ear piercing one.

"Naomi?" A hint of worry coated her voice as she screamed at me. "Naomi whats wrong? Please don't tell me something happened to Ari." When I finally looked at her I could see my sadness reflecting in her eyes. Like she could feel the exact pain I was going through without knowing exactly what it was. With that, I draped my arms around her and hugged her tight. Sobbing into her shoulder as she hugged me back. "Naomi, what ever it is we will make it though it, together."

That didn't stop the loud and inhumane sobs from escaping me. Becoming louder every time I tried to open my mouth to tell her exactly why I was crying. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't form the words. But I knew that I would have to force them out. "A-Aless.. ha.. ca-can-cancer.." I sobbed

She must have not understood because she just kept hugging me. Not once did the light rocking she was doing faltered, nor did the little squeezes she gave me to let me know she was here, stopped. It was like she wasn't even focused on what I was saying, but more on comforting me. "I-I know, he told me two weeks ago." she said all of a sudden.

She did not just say what we think she just said. My conscience expressed.

My body stiffened and my breathing stilled.  I suddenly didn't feel sad or panicked anymore. Numb, yeah. "Repeat that for me." I heard her the first time so when she repeated the words again I pulled away from her. My hands went up to my face to wipe away the tears. How could he tell her but not me? I mean, I know, they are just as much of best friends as Alessandro and I, but two weeks? "Two weeks." I whispered out.

"He said he didn't know how to tel.."

"I don't want to hear that shit!" I shout and stood to my feet. "My best friend is dying; faster then the rest of us, and besides all that he told you two weeks ago." It might be selfish of me to be stuck on the fact that she knew way before me, but I was. "Whats your excuse from keeping this from me?"