Training to fall

The library

Later that day I was 'studying' in the library. I always go library after school, it's big, has  amazing internet and.... no one can annoy me. I always sit at the same table. The small two person one at the very back of the library opposite all of the Harry Potter books. I like it there because 1) H.P books... do I need to explain?!?  2) The internet connection is the strongest as it's just on the other side of the wall 3) non of the populars would ever step a foot in the library and if they did I'm pretty sure they wouldn't come back here.

Not too many people know about the tables near the back! I think of it as the nerdy territory, my homeland. I didn't even want to know what my hair looked like at that precise moment as I had my head in a book for the past hour and a bit trying to cram in as much of the final H.P book as possible before the library closes. They always seem to close way before they are supposed to. I just needed to finish this book before I would go home again.

I was drowning in one of hermione's long ass speeches when I felt a steady hand being placed on my shoulder. I stood up expecting it to be the librarian telling me to leave, however, to my surprise i found my self staring into the sky blue eyes of Luke hemmings.

"What?" I stammered, low-key placing the Harry Potter book onto the table behind me praying he didn't see it. He knows I'm a complete fool but if he knew about my Harry Potter obsession I think I would die.

"Sorry to scare you, Ella-Bella" he said with a friendly smile. I truly wanted to correct him for calling me that but I was contemplating whether we're on that level of friendship or not.

"It's fine, what is it?!?" Shaking my head for a second to clear my thoughts.

He glanced at me giving me a confused look before returning his eyes to the seat next to mine. "Nothing really, I just wanted to study and addy told me you are usually here so I was hoping to see you so I wouldn't be alone." He mumbled quickly almost as if he was hoping no one else would hear.

"Uh, sure.... if you want I guess?" I said as I returned to my seat moving the Harry Potter book in front of me making room for him.

Why next to me when all these tables are free? I over think everything wayyyy to much.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" He whispered after a while. He looked strangely earnest and saddened. It was hard to pin down how he was truly feeling.

"Huh....?" I muttered.

"It's almost as if you're trying to make yourself as small as possible, do I scare you?" He questioned in a low voice.

"No.... I'm not scared" I said after clearing my throat.

His eyes dropped with what I would have usually associated with dejection but I have not mentioned anything for him to feel dejected?  I was just a nerdy girl, nothing I say to him would matter.

"So you're uncomfortable...?" He interrogated with a sad look on his face.

"I'm fine...? " I said hoping that I found a black hole to swallow me up in.

"You don't look fine?" He stated leaning in closer to me.

"I just don't understand" I said bringing my knees to me chest.

"What don't you understand?" He asked.

"Why are you sitting here of all places and why are you talking to me of all people?!?" I finally questioned

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked furrowing his brows together.

"I don't know. We're just not supposed to talk to each other, sociologically speaking." I muttered. "You're most probably at the top of the popularity list and I'm most probably at the bottom"

"Who says?" Luke asked starting to get louder with every sentence.

"Shhhhhhhhhh" I whispered "I wouldn't want to get kicked out because of the noise that's coming out of your mouth"

Leaning further in Luke said "Ella-Bella, im not even that cool" almost as if he's trying to give me sympathy.

"Can we stop with the whole 'Ella-Bella please, it's just Ella! And you're way cooler than I'll ever be"

"So? I just want to sit and talk with you? Is that a problem Ella-Bella" Luke queried with a smirk on his face as if he was trying to annoy me.

"It's a Library, you're not allowed to talk in a library Lucas" I said trying to find a way to cop out and annoy him at the same time.

"I think it's fine" he stated now being the closest he could ever be.

"Oh god, look at the time....." I began to gather my stuff collecting the Harry Potter book I have booked out earlier and placing it at the bottom of my bag.

"But I just got here....?" He said as I looked back at him. It wasn't that I didn't want to be in his presence, I just couldn't!

"I have to go.. see you later Luke?" As I started to amble my way to the exit.

"HEY, at least let me walk with you Ella-Bella" He said hurriedly getting his things together. I stammered incoherently trying to find some excuse to get away from him. I needed to think straight and I couldn't do that near him. Not to mention, if I was near him, I risked telling him how I felt and that was so not going to end well.

"Noooo you don't have to, I can get home alone" I said awkwardly shifting my feet watching him gather his things together.

"Utter nonsense, anything could happen to you, Ella-Bella. We wouldn't want that, would we?" He declared whilst slinging his bag over his back.

"Nothing's going to happen to me." I said shaking my head as he fell in step with me.

"I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you" he murmured.

"Calum... You don't need to pay attention to me." I muttered below my breath as we walked toward the lobby together.

"What?" He said peering down at me.

"Nothing" I whispered, continuing to walk trying to not make eye contact with him.