Transguy things

66

Ugh stupid vent post
--
Pfft I'm so stupid sometimes
I fall for guys so easily and I really hate myself for it ahhahah
Like I was bored and playing mine craft and skyping a friend of mine and  the server is pretty big probably around 300 people on it so I put in the chat "if ur bored and wanna Skype message me" so the first dude that came to us ended up being the same age as me and my friend so we had this long stupid talk of random ridiculous things and after he had to leave this stupid call I sat  there  and my friend was like "u ok" and I was like "ya" but I was just sitting there and iwas like "shit"

Its not like I have a crush on him, its just that sometimes when I meet people my stomach starts to feel really funny and weird and every time that happens, later on in the friendship I always end up developing feelings for that person
And I feel super stupid because I just felt that again
And this guy is super nice and he's really funny, and I also don't wanna tell this one friend who I don't think reads this book for reasons because I feel like they think I do this all the time when I really don't, last time this happened was like 5 months ago (??) and I feel stupid because I can't tell them about this

I'm also afraid to be friends with this guy bc I think he's straight and if I develop feelings for him I'm gonna have to tell him because if I don't i feel like I'm lying to his face. But if I tell him he's gonna reject me and its gonna ruin our friendship but he's really cool and I wanna be friends with him.

Idk I just feel like shit now because I cant tell my friend, idk what to do about this guy and our friendship, and I feel like I fall for guys too easily pffft hhahaha  sorry for this rant post pls ignore it hahahahahaaahdjsjcfkod