Destined

chapter 11: TIME

Hello everyone, I have just started a new short story FATAL, I will contain only 10chapters, I have already uploaded 1 chapter. So please check it out and let me know what you feel.

This chapter is dedicated to @-itsnotover

For the amazing cover.

*Ruby*

Time , perhaps the greatest mystery to befuddle mankind. Simply because it has its own agenda, its own rules. It has no respect for fame of wealth or stature, no respect for emotions and feelings, no respect for life and death. It just roles on , irrespective.

Sometimes the healer of wounds, often the scourge of the indolent, Forever. The wings under which truth and justice take refuge. It is resolute in its purpose.

Dividing it up into seconds and years may help us to mànange it better, however that is by no means an indication that we have mastered it. Splicing it into smaller chunks may helps us understands it better. But that should not deceive us into thinking that we have captured it.

Time remains as elusive as ever

After all, it is the nature of time to be seductively fleeting. And it is only by capturing moments of it that we can appreciate its beauty.

It should be lived day by day. Moment by moment and life goes on.

It's been three years, three years since that dreadful day, since I lost my best friend, my love, my heart and my soul. Three years since I saw my parents , three years since I became an empty shell, a cold lifeless, workaholic.

I don't know how I lived these agonizing three years, but it was no easy. All I remember from that day, when I tried to end myself was that to get away from there. And get away from what I attempted.

I left His mansion, without telling my parents I just left a not for them,

Mom, dad, I am hurt, I am broken, I don't know how to fix this, give me time,

Time to grieve, time to connect with myself again, please don't contact me.

I will be back, when I feel like coming, don't look for me,

your princess,

_ruby.

I am sure my parents have been missing me, I know I hurt them, but I still can't think of going there. Every little thing at home reminds me of him. I won't be able to relive all those memories again.

I remember as soon as I left home, I applied for internship at St. Andalaus hospital, they accepted me as soon as I apply, let's face it no one says no to interns,

Whole year I worked day and night, I practically lived at hospital, bathing and sleeping at rest room, which they graciously provided with showers and beds,

Days were busy, no time to think about him. Looking at others problems made me forget mine for a while. But the terrors started at night. Nightmares always lurking at the back of mind.

Waiting for an opportunity to conquer me, darkness always watching me like a hawk, sending dreadful scenarios, converting once happy memories into nightmares ,

It cost me my self-esteem, my happiness, my right to live, depression and mood swings.

I remember , somedays were better than others, some days I will talk myself , that I will get over him and live my life as I wanted and never let him break me again,

But there were days, days a gloomy cloud always sorounding me, always showing me my worthlessness, teasing me about my failures, making me believe that somehow it was my fault that he cheated on me ,

If only I was prettier , and better he would have lived with me, loved me the way I loved him,

Those are the days when my darkness would cocoon , lull me in to it. It sings it own song of chaos,

Many a times I just wanted to end my pathetic life, I was wary of soroundings , sometimes of my own Shadow.

It took time to trust people again, and make new friends, but I did, slowly but surely.

But I just couldn't give my everything to the friendships always wary of people and their intentions.

For whole year and half whenever I tried to sleep, his words came like hurricane and haunted me, engulfed me into some dark space, where my consciousness could never reach me, it showed me him and his life without me,

I always ended up screaming and crying in sleep, no one was there to console me, I dreaded sleep every night, that was when I started doing night shifts,

Days always spent by studying for entrances, my hardwork paid me, I was selected for P.g in psychology, I don't know why I selected this perticular subject, I was so unfit for this.

I never even checked any suicide attempt cases, I always made some reasons and got away from them, looking at them always reminded me of what I had tried to do on that day, it made me feel guilty.

Every walking second of my life my thoughts filled with ideas to end my life. Then how can I ask others to live,

It was the most difficult task. So I just avoided it completely. I lost the counts I got scoldings from my seniors.

Now I was in my second year of pyschology,
May be my sub conscious mind wanted to help those who have been in my position . But before that I had to help myself, but I didn't know how to do it.

You ask many anything about depression, or any other psycho_somatic disease I would give you accurate description and treatment, but I wasn't able to treat myself that again brought tons of worthlessness to me.

But it surely taught me one thing, just text book alone isn't enough to treat psychiatric patients, you need the patience and understanding beyond imagination,

We were given rooms in the hospital premises itself, while I was walking towards my room, savitha aunty (cleaner) gave me an envelope, it was sealed and addressed to me,

I thanked her and took the envelope, my room was in 3rd floor, after taking much needed shower I decided to check the envelope,

When I opened the envelope it was like my world crashed on me, it left me breathless, whatever progress I had made all went down the drain,

And darkness took that moment of weakness to enter me, this time I welcomed it warmly. And it started cooing me, sucking me, and I let it take me away ,

_rebel ridz

So how do you like this chapter!? What do you think is it in that envelope any guesses!?

I have started a short story FATAL, it's a story of a rape victim, If possible check it out and let me know what you think of it . Sariya, the victim ones a happy go teenage now in a predicament , we can't even imagine of, just please support her and let her know you are with her.

_love ya'll