Clairemont High Book 1: Jalex

We're Gonna Try Something New Today

"Alex. Fucking eat." At this moment, we happened to be sitting at Jack's dinner table, some crappy food in laid out in front of us. I knew everything that was in it because I told Alex how I typically wouldn't eat if I didn't know everything that was in it, and I calculated it to be about 340 calories. I wasn't going to eat it. In fact, I'll go as far as to say I can't eat it.

"I'm not hungry." Jack refused to believe me.

"Alex, we're not leaving the table until you've eaten this. I know it's hard, but it'll help you get better." The food in front of me wasn't bad, it really wasn't. However, I was so terrified that if I ate it, I wouldn't be able to stop myself and would end up eating Jack out of house and home.

"I'm scared." Jack's determined eyes grew soft. His hand laid on the small of my back, making small, comforting circles.

"Why are you scared?"

"Because like... what if I start eating and I can't stop and then I eat like a thousand calories and I gain like five million pounds and then I'd be even fatter and-"

"Alex. Stop for a second. You are not fat. And even if you wanted to eat more than this, I wouldn't let you. This is a good portion size and eating anymore would make you sick. I don't want you throwing up."

He pulled me onto his lap, kissing my cheek softly. A fork full of cauliflower found it's way to my lips. Though sheer terror was coursing its way through my veins, I let myself take a bite. And then another, and then another.

When I looked back down at the plate, I saw there was no food on it. I had eaten it all, and I was full. I hated it. I hated feeling full, because feeling full corresponded to being fat.

"I need to go to the bathroom." I told him. I tried to squirm my way off of his lap.

"No, you don't. If I let you go, you're going to make yourself throw up. So, you're actually gonna come cuddle with me on the couch and we're gonna watch movies and make out and stuff." I giggled as he lifted me up by my and and kissed me sweetly.

My legs wrapped around his waist while he carried me to the couch. I was thrown playfully on the red velvet seating arrangement. Little kisses were placed all over my face. Jack always did these sweet, adorable things that I loved and he knew it.

He moved from his position between my legs to grab the remote and pick a movie.

"Horror, comedy, or kid?" He whispered in my ear.

"Hm... How about we turn on Blue's Clues!" Okay, I know what you're thinking: 'what are you ,Alex? Five?' Well, yes I am. Deep inside my soul I am a five year old girl.

"Blue's Clues? Really, babe? Well, okay. But if you get distracted, I'm turning it off!" He laughed and scrolled through Netflix to find our desired show. I smiled when the little blue dog appeared on the screen.

Blue's Clues had always been my favourite show growing up. Even when Joe came along, I still found myself watching it every chance I could. It just reminded me of better times when weight and perfection didn't consume my mind.

Jack situated us so I was laying on top of him, my back on his chest and my legs between his. His arms came to lay on my still cut-up chest. I felt his hands move and start to tickle at my sides. It was comforting more than anything.

"Hey Alex, what do your parents think of all of this?" Jack asked suddenly.

"All of what?" I didn't really want to talk about this, not even with Jack. My parents were kind of a touchy subject for me.

"Like... Us dating and you never being home and stuff. What do they know about it all and how do they feel?"

I sighed bitterly. "They don't know anything about anything. They'd rather have me out of the house anyways, so me staying with Rian or you or Ashley all the time isn't a big issue. They don't know I'm gay, they don't know I have an eating disorder, and I bet they forgot that my birthday is in two days." I cuddled deeper into Jack's chest.