Clairemont High Book 1: Jalex

I'll See You Again

What's up guys? This isn't the best chapter because it's really choppy and sporadic, but I hope you like it anyway. I'm going to start a collection of one-shots because well... I'm a little burned out. I don't really know where else to take this, although I have some more idea for my Austlan Cashby. Is there anything that you want to see Jack, Alex, or any of the other characters do? Comment!

Also, if you want to suggest a one-shot, that would be lovely. You can find my favourite ships on my profile, but I guess I'll do most ships except for like... Brusnop because I don't know either of them. Anyway, message me either on here or on kik. My kik is Nirvanaangel. Thank you! Enjoy this chapter!

I stood in the bathroom of the funeral home bawling my eyes out. I couldn't bare to look at his picture. They had put up one of us, all four of us, on his coffin and I just couldn't handle it. I was holding myself up on the sink, trying not to break further.

No one had followed me in here. They probably knew I just needed some time alone with my thought. Everyone thought I was going to relapse now that Ashley was gone, so I haven't been left alone for days. I've been driven mad.

The sobs coming out of my mouth started to turn into desperate screams. My legs gave out from under me and I crashed to the floor. I scurried under the sink, bringing my knees up to my chest and putting my head in my knees. My fingers were gripping tightly to my hair, yanking and yanking as I slowly lost more control.

It's been a week and I still don't understand why he left me and Andy. He didn't leave a note, didn't give anyone an explanation. The last words he said to me was that he wanted Andy. Actually, I don't know what he said to Andy. He could have told him why he killed himself. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

My stomach started to churn violently and I ran into a stall. I dropped to my knees and started vomiting over and over and over. I must have been there for fifteen minutes at least. My throat was burning as well as my stomach. I was done. I don't want to be here.

I continued to cry in the bathroom stall. I didn't care if they wanted me out there to hear all these people who didn't even know him talk about what an amazing person he was. He was so strong and had battled so much and no one even knew or cared.

Why didn't he just talk to me? Why didn't he talk to Andy if he felt suicidal? I don't understand why he would just go and kill himself. Oh, what am I saying? I'm being selfish. He must have been fighting for a long time if he finally gave up.

I just wanted to know why. I wanted to know what pushed him over the edge: physically and psychologically. Ashley seemed like he was doing so good. He had told me how far he came. Andy was taking care of him. Wasn't he happy? Why didn't he tell me he wasn't happy.

I heard the door open. "Alex, come on. Where are you?" I wiped my mouth with toilet paper and threw it in the toilet, flushing away all the disgusting stuff in it.

I stood up on wobbly legs and walked out to see a concerned looking Jaime. He tried to wrap his arms around me for comfort, but I pushed him away.

"You shouldn't. I just threw up everywhere." I made my way back over to the sink, washing first my hands and then my mouth.

"On purpose?" The Hispanic boy asked.

"No, and that's the bad part. I just can't be here right now. I want to go home and go to bed and pretend like none of this ever happened. I don't know why all this shit happens to me." I angrily threw the paper towel in the trash, grunting as it left my fingers.

"Alex, you're not the only one who's suffering right now. Andy is out there trying to hold himself together as well. He just lost his fucking boyfriend. He's not doing well. He needs you to be out there as a comfort for him. Suck it up and get out of this bathroom." His firm voice was followed by him shoving me out the wooden door into the hallway. He took my hand and dragged me into the main room where everyone was crying. I went and found Andy sitting off in a corner.