dear tyler joseph ☼ j.d. + t.j.

12

another two weeks had passed, tyler woke up to the sound of yelling and a slamming door, his neighbors had been arguing all night. tyler was surprised he even got any sleep at all. he rubbed the palms of his hands over his eyes and tried to wake up. tyler stayed there a moment and just stared at the ceiling, he found himself not wanting to get out of bed and go to the hospital just to see that josh was still in a coma, still unable to talk or walk, unable to actually live. he sighed and flung back the covers standing up on the cold hardwood. tyler thought it would be better to be there when josh didn't wake up than to not be there when he did.

he hobbled over to the kitchen and
poured himself a big cup of coffee. he turned around and leaned against the counter taking a big swig of the dark liquid. he took a look at his apartment taking in the different features, his old desk, a painting his friend gerard had given him, the old beat up couch. tyler smirked at the memory of josh there with him as his eyes finally landed on his ukulele. it was sitting on the rack in the corner of the living room. the strings hadn't been strummed in what felt like forever, the brown wood had a thin layer of dust collecting on it changing the color ever so slightly. his brow furrowed as he thought for a moment. tyler walked over and picked up the ukulele placing it in its case and zipping it up tightly. he then walked back over to the kitchen and set it on the table so he wouldn't forget it.

tyler headed to the bathroom, took a quick shower, then threw on a hoodie he had borrowed from an josh's apartment and black skinny jeans. he looked himself over in the mirror shrugging slightly when he decided that this was the best it would get. tyler unplugged his phone, noticing a text from ashley as the screen lit up.

ash: u still going to the hospital today?

tyler: yea, u?

ash: can't. work. tomorrow though. have fun with josh ;)

tyler smiled and slid his phone into his back pocket. he walked into the kitchen and grabbed his ukulele off of the table then headed for the door.

•••

"good morning." kelly said with a smile as tyler walked out of the elevators.

"g'morning."

"what's in the case?" she asked looking over her computer screen at the object in tyler's hand.

"it's my ukulele, i thought i might play a couple songs for josh. that sounds kind of stupid now that i say it out loud, yeah, yeah it's stupid." tyler pulled his fingers through his hair and glanced towards josh's room before looking back at kelly.

"no it's not, i think it's sweet." tyler gave her a half smile and looked down at the black case in his hand, the edges were worn down from use and some parts looked more gray than black, but tyler loved that thing, with all its imperfections.

"well, here goes nothing." tyler said and kelly smiled at him then turned back to her computer screen. he walked over to josh's room and opened the door.

there he was, still laying in the bed, the same position tyler had left him in. tyler let out a sigh, he was half expecting to see josh up and smiling, and waiting for him. tyler had expected this every morning for the past two weeks. he'd been disappointed everyday. tyler walked over to the chair next to josh's bed and placed his ukulele on the moveable table beside it. he sat down and laced his fingers together.

"hi josh." he said running his thumb along his index finger. tyler felt a wave of nervousness wash over him as he looked at josh, then at his ukulele, and back at josh. he didn't know what he really came here to do. weather it be to play a couple chords, or actually sing one of his songs. tyler let out a sigh as the realization of josh's unconsciousness made its way into his mind once again. he ran a hand through his hair, which was in desperate need of a trim, and turned his attention to the tv screen. tyler hadn't even noticed it was on.

the people on the screen were smiling and laughing, the girl lightly set her hand on the boys shoulder and bent over in laughter. the laughing soon turned into a full on make out session and tyler had to avert his eyes. he looked back at josh, his chest rinsing and falling with each soft breath. tyler couldn't help but wonder if they would ever get the chance to go from laughing until their stomachs hurt, to passionate kissing in under a minute.

tyler slowly ran his finger along the zipper of his ukulele case, he let out a breath before opening it. he held the tiny wooden instrument and looked up at josh.

"i, um, i guess i'm going to sing you a song. i wrote it and i hope you like it. it's okay if you don't." tyler laughed a little at himself, he was talking to a guy who probably couldn't even hear him, it sounded crazy. but tyler couldn't help it, jos meant so much to him and to not talk to him at all would destroy him. tyler then looked back down at the ukulele, placing his fingers along the neck in just the right places. he started with a just a couple chords and then slowly picked up the pace until he felt it was time to sing.

"you say things with your mouth cob webs and flies come out, i hear a second voice behind your tongue somehow luckily i can read your mind flies and cobwebs unwind. they will not take you down they will not cast you out, out..."

"...won't you stay alive i'll take you on a ride i will make you believe you are lovely." 

tyler strummed the last chord and smiled to himself, proud he could make it through the song without bursting into tears. he looked up at josh and for a moment he found himself waiting, for what, tyler wasn't sure. he looked at the boys still face and watched as josh slowly opened his eyes.