dear tyler joseph ☼ j.d. + t.j.

7

the wind blew through josh's hair as he took a sip of the lemonade tyler had attempted to make himself, a little to much sugar for his taste.

"so tomorrow's the big day, huh?" tyler asked looking a little sad before changing his expression to an unconvincing smile.

"yeah, i'm kinda nervous about it." josh gave an attempt at a smile and wiped the condensation off the plastic solo cup.

"oh don't be, it'll work out great." tyler looked over at josh's sad eyes and leaned his head against the boys shoulder. "can i tell you something?"

"sure." josh turned to look at tyler's head, his legs curled up to his abdomen. josh smiled at how small tyler could make himself look, as if the only thing he wanted to disappear from the world completely.

"i, um, i'm not really good at expressing my feelings with words. i mean when it's music, that's easy, but sitting here with you just face to face, i can't think up a single thing to say." tyler laughed lightly and hoped josh would somehow understand the words he couldn't find to say.

"you could always give it a shot, i mean i'm not one to judge. i wrote a god damn letter to you because i didn't have the guts to say it to your face." they both laughed and tyler nuzzled his head into josh's shoulder, a perfect fit.

"i guess i could just start with, i love you." tyler looked up at josh's big brown eyes and then down to his lips, he felt the sudden urge to just grab the boy and kiss him in a fit of passion, but he couldn't move a muscle. tyler wasn't the kind of person that used the word love lightly, it took all the strength he had in him to say those three measly little words. josh's eyebrows furrowed and he looked back at the boy.

"what?" he asked moving his eyes along the curves of tyler's face. josh wasn't expecting tyler to say something like that, to say it at all, so when he finally did josh wasn't sure if he had actually said it or if he made the whole thing up in his head.

"i said, i, um, i love you." tyler gave an attempt at a smile but failed miserably.

"i love you too ty." this time tyler's smile was full and bright, almost like he didn't actually know he was smiling, he just couldn't help it.

josh moved to close the gap between them and kissed tyler, he placed a soft hand on the boys cheek and glided his tongue along tyler's bottom lip. at first tyler was surprised by the eagerness but soon gave in and opened his mouth to grant josh entrance. josh got up on his knees, still kissing tyler, and laid the boy down onto his back. tyler's breath hitched as josh's chest rested softly onto tyler's. this was the closest they had ever been and tyler was amazed at how much he liked the feeling. josh stopped kissing tyler and looked into the boys eyes before giving him a smirk and leaning back down to place kisses along tyler's jawline. he made his way to the boys neck and stayed at tyler's collarbone making a small pink bruise. tyler squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hand up josh's flexed arm.

"hey, josh?" tyler asked a little out of breath.

"hmm?" josh made a noise, his throat vibrating slightly against tyler's chest.

"do you, um, do you want to go back to my apartment?"

josh pushed himself back up to look into the boys eyes and smiled at him. "sure."

"okay." tyler smiled back and josh stood up and pulled tyler's hand to help him up along with him. tyler put the empty containers of food back into the basket and re-folded the blanket. they walked the short distance back to the car and tyler couldn't help but blush the whole way. tyler slid his hand down josh's arm and locked their fingers, giving it a quick squeeze and a bright smile from josh followed. tyler loved the fact that doing something so simple, like holding hands, meant so much to josh and made him just the tiniest bit happier than before.

•••

"well here it is." tyler said as he opened the door to his dark apartment. "sorry it's a little dirty i didn't have time to pick it up." he scratched the back of his head and set the blanket and basket down onto the kitchen table. "do you want something to drink?" tyler opened the fridge and looked at the bare shelves.

"no, thanks." josh stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around the apartment. the walls were a light gray with a darker trim. the kitchen and living room made up one big room and josh could see a bed through thick glass doors that separated the bedroom and kitchen. "it's nice in here."

"oh, thanks." tyler answered now standing next to josh who wasn't exactly sure what he should do now. he hadn't even thought about sleeping with tyler, not the day before his surgery at least. "do you want to sit?" tyler gestured towards the couch and josh smiled at him.

"yeah sure."

"i don't really do this."

"do what?" josh looked at tyler confused and adjusted his jeans.

"invite guys over to, you know." tyler blushed and looked down at his hands resting in his lap. he had no idea what he was doing or how to do it.

"we don't have to if you don't want to."

"no i do, trust me." tyler's cheeks turned a darker pink which made josh laugh a little.

"we can take it slow." josh sad turning tyler's head to face him. tyler smiled and bit his lip, he wasn't sure what would happen next but with josh, there was nothing to worry about. he looked up into josh's chocolate brown eyes and felt safe, like nothing in the world could ever hurt him.