Heavy Hearts | Quil Ateara [3]

quatorze

Heart and soul were a mixture of a person- they were the pieces that could build you up or rip you apart. Heart and soul were the base, the foundation of the structure because it is what drew you apart from the rest. Never had she figured that she could fall so in love with a person that she could recognize their heart and soul with her entire being.

No matter the amount of time spent gazing into his eyes or brushing her hand against the rough skin of his own, she could never get over the intensity of her heart slamming in her chest when she was with him. It was as though she was falling in love with him all over again. He made her feel like a hopeless romantic.

Sitting with him in the middle of nowhere gave her more comfort than she thought possible. Simply enjoying his presence with her knees drawn in her chest and her head resting on his shoulder she felt calm in the silence that the dense forest provided. She felt like she could stay here forever, making up for the time that she had missed out on.

Her fear was still present. It was a constant little shadow in her mind that refused to let her forget the beast that he transformed into- what his friends transformed into. It was something that she could hardy forget, but she was willing to look it over for their own good.

"Why did you run?" Quil questioned her gently, not raising his voice above a whisper.

"It's hard to say- I'm not exactly sure where to start," she admits just as quietly.

"What about the beginning?"

Staring ahead, she could still make out the images that danced before her eyes. The girl among wolves. "It's complicated. I don't think I've even heard the whole story."

He was silent, brows furrowed as he thought it over. She couldn't help but admire how his face- while still slightly pudgy- was angular and smooth, his jaw a little uneven but still a perfect fit for her petite, dainty hands.

"Do you think Billy will talk about it at the bonfire?"

Her head lifted form his shoulder as she looked at him carefully. "Bonfire? What bonfire?"

"It's actually a council meeting but the entire pack goes. It's my first time hearing the tribal stories," he explained. "You are going to be there, right? You're one of us now."

She could feel her heart clench in her chest, unsure of what to tell him. She didn't know what to do, the idea of him thinking that she was one of them was heartwarming but she didn't want to consider herself one of them. Even though she wanted to be with him, she didn't love the idea of being the wolf girl.

In her perfect world, she would leave all of this. She would travel with Alice and Jasper, dragging Quil with her when she could. She would spend as much time with Bella as possible instead of watching her sister be pulled in different directions by two boys.

She knew that it wasn't meant to be like that. Love wasn't meant to be a chore. With Quil it was as easy as breathing.

"I have faced death, and grief over and over since returning home to Forks. I have nearly died more times than acceptable and face loss more times than I care to explain," she stressed. "Everyone makes it out like I have to pick a side. I don't have to deicide between them and you. So no, I'm not one of them and I'm not one of you. I'm me, just me."

Quil brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and gave her a small smile. "I like just you, just you will always be more than enough for me."

She smiled up at him, her bottom lip pulling between her teeth as she pressed her forehead against his. "I don't know if I can go to the bonfire. It depends on Alice and Bella."