Divergent Forever

Chapter 2

I realize it was only a dream. I turn over to see Tris's empty cot next to mind. Remaining untouched. It's been two months. It feels like a lifetime. I realize I dreamt about the second time I almost lost her. Yesterday I dreamt about how I almost killed her, the first time I almost lost her. I cringe. If only I had one more word. One more kiss. One more reassuring hand squeeze. It's to late now.

I remember us saying that we needed to face this one challenge alone. That when it's all over we will each other, and nothing would stand in the way. I only wish we never said that. I wish I was with her and could protect her. I wish I could have killed David before he shot her. So much I wish. I repeat her last words to me over and over in my head. " I never wanted to leave you " I don't understand. Why would she leave? Why did she replace her brother. When I was first shared she wanted to say this to me, I felt nothing. Now it's repeated in my mind over and over again and something I treasure most.

I get out of bed to go take a walk. I have been taking a lot of these lately. Something calms me down. So many things remind me of Tris. But most of all, my fears. She went through all of them with me. I see her when I have to face heights. I see her in small spaces. But the rest of my fears, all contain her. I'm no longer Four.

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When I get back into the room, everyone is already up. I check my watch, and it's almost time for breakfast .

As we walk into the dining hall, we get lots of sad looks and stares. God I hate this part, everyone feeling petty on us. Thinking they need to hold us up now. I wish I could say they were wrong, that we are doing just fine. But, I am so weak and hurting. I need the help being offered. I need her. But a voice inside my head tells me that I need to stay strong. Remember her as Tris the brave, not the family who died. It tells me to move on, which I will never be able to do. I know what I'm suppose to do, never forget her, but move past her. I will never be able to do that until I see her again one day. And something in my mind tells me that this voice is Tris.

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