Don't You Go Down-[BOOK 2]

Fake Mac and Cheese

"Hey, you and your dad okay? You haven't talked to him all day..." Dallon asked with a look of concern.

"Yeah.."

Dallon raised an eyebrow and folded his arms, "Ivy...if this is what I think it is-"

"NO..Dallon.." I said a bit angrily.

Dallon and I locked eyes for a second. He then lets out a long sigh and sits down next to me.

"Ivy, you remember the first time we met?" He asked. I remember every detail, but I stay silent.

"I said, I'll be there if Brendon does anything crazy, and you can tell me anything. I hope you still remember.."

I nodded and rubbed my eyes. "Okay.."

*****

"Babe, you okay?" Cat asked, pulling a strand of my hair behind my ear.

I let out a groan, "Not another one of these conversations."

Cat kisses her teeth and shakes my arm. "You've been looking a bit down all week.."

"Why does everyone think I'm fucking sad?! I'm not!" I yelled and got up.

Pacing around the room, I stop and let out a sigh. "Just....just.." I found myself at a loss for words. I didn't want to explain it.

"Ivy, calm down. Talk to me. Why are you so mad?"

"I don't know. Right now...I-"

Biting her lip, Cat leaned in and kissed me. Every time we kissed, I would feel...comfortable and warm inside.

Cat lifted her hand to my cheek and pushed be down a bit onto my bed. Removing my lips from hers, we lock eyes. I swallow hard and sit up. "Maybe later..."

"Aw, why not right now?" Cat says in a low voice next to my ear, attempting to lean in again. Sighing, I push her away and get up. "I'm sorry, just..I need a break from that for a little, okay?" I said, and Cat nodded.

Nodding back, I pick up my phone, headphones, and a black jacket, then head out my room.

Decending down the stairs, I pull on my jacket and plug in my heaphones, then sliding them on my ears. 

Suddenly, I smell the most delicious thing. MAACCC AND CHEESSEE!

Smiling, I run don the stairs and into the kitchen where the smell is bound to come from. Turning into the kitchen, I see them.

Sarah and Brendon.

With his hands around her waist, Brendon rests his head on her shoulder while he helps her stir the Mac and cheese. Sarah smiles and laughs as a little clump of macaroni slips over the pot. 

Brendon looks so happy..

Sarah, what did you do to make him so happy?

Soon, their eyes travel over to me, standing in the pathway, my face red as a tomato. 

"Hey kitten, we're making Mac and cheese, you want some?" Brendon asks, his hands leaving Sarah's waist. I shake my head and play with my bracelets. "No, I'm okay..I'm...I'm actually gonna get some fresh air..." I say in the most believable voice I could.

"Okay, if you need me, I'll be be in the living room." he says, and I nod. 

Walking away from the kitchen, I walk out the house and close the door behind me. It was cold, I could feel my face go pale. I pull over my hoodie and turn on my phone, opening Spotify and continuing my playlist of P!ATD, MCR, AND TOP songs. Impossible year comes on and I press loop, wanting to hear it non stop.

I sit down and think.

Brendon is serious about this relationship...

He wants to marry Sarah, let her move in...

He loves her...

But I don't want another mom.

The bad memories I don't want to think about.

Sarah's the replacement for my mother. Sarah's gonna be a just another mother I don't want and hate. Another who is just the same, no difference from the rest.

And I can't do anything about it..

Woe is me.

I don't want I live with this, and I won't.

Getting up, I creep back inside the house, making sure the guys don't see me, I don't want them to know I'm back.

After I do that, I sped up the stairs into my room. I gently close the door behind me and tear off my jacket and head phones.

Throwing them to one side of the room, I grab my phone out my pocket and set it up against the leg of my bed on the floor.

Opening camera, I press record.

*****