insecure » chris schistad ON HOLD FOR LIKE A MONTH

seven

[ Truths & Abandonment ]

TOTALLY BAFFLED BY ALL OF the homework Erin's science teacher gave them, she groaned and fell backwards on her bed.

"Screw you homework!" She shouted. "Calm down there, Erin. It's just a piece of paper." Laughed Eva.

Laughing Erin sat up. "I know it's just I have to write a report for history, then I still have to take out the trash and wash dishes, and shower." She rambled.

Eva smiled. "I understand. What'd you get for number 5?" Eva asked Erin. Erin flipped her paper over to where the question was and answered "Umm I think it's—"

A knock on her bedroom door interrupted her. Slowly the door opened and revealed Erin's mother.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there's a very attractive boy at our doorstep. He says he wants to talk to you." She said.

Eva and Erin shared a look with each other. "I'll um..be right there." Erin said getting up from her comfortable spot on the bed.

Erin walked out of the room and into the living room where the front door was. Erin's mother looked at Eva.

"Should I be concerned about him?" "Umm maybe just a little." Laughed Eva.

As Erin opened the door she felt a pit in her stomach. She had this feeling it was Chris, she knew it was Chris, but she wasn't ready to confront him.

When the door was fully opened, he stood there with a faint smile and his brown eyes showed a look of, innocence.

"Hello." He softly said. "Hi." Erin nodded her head. "Look I've been wanting to ask you about the uh..last text you sent."

Erin played with her fingers and looked down. "About that Chris...I'm sorry if I offended you by saying I was done with you, but I really meant it."

"Well I'm not here about that. When you said that I broke your heart..what did you mean by that?" Chris asked. He stepped closer, making Erin back away.

"I didn't mean for you to know that—I just got so frustrated with you I-I—" "Was it true?" Chris interrupted.

Erin didn't say anything. "Erin, is it true?" Chris pushed. "Yes! Yes it's true! You broke my heart into a million pieces and had no idea." Erin spoke with a strong voice.

Chris then took a step back. He let out a breath. "H-how?" "Remember the night you last saw Victoria?" Erin asked. "Of course."

"Well when the incident happened, I felt hurt..betrayed. I felt as if you didn't even care about my feelings. The whole night I just thought to myself, 'why wasn't it someone else?' " Erin softly said the last half.

"I mean I knew what I was doing was wrong. I thought 'he's my friend, he wouldn't hurt me, leave me alone.' but man was I wrong." Erin bitterly said.

Chris stood there in shock. "I-I'm sorry." He shook his head. "Sorry? All you have to say is sorry?" "Well what do you want me to say!"

"I want you to say 'Sorry for making my life hell and sorry for ever coming into my life! I want you to beg for forgiveness because you may have just cheated on Victoria, but you put me through much worse! You made me go to court! You made me have to fight for my freedom for something i didn't even do! And if 'sorry' is all you have for me then I need you to leave, right now."

Erin had hot tears running down her cheeks. "I had no idea—" "No, you didn't." Erin wiped away her tears furiously and backed into the house slowly. "I meant what I said Chris. Just leave me alone. You've done enough already."

And with that said, she closed the door and left Chris to think about how much pain and suffering he'd caused this girl. The almost tripped on his own two feet walking off the doorstep.

Meanwhile, Erin leaned on the front door, her back against it, and slid down as did her tears. Eva and Erin's mother comforted her on the floor and just let her cry it all out.

++++

Sometimes when things get a little too much, Erin likes to think the fog will clear up. That everything will eventually turn back to the way it was. Happy.

But she knew this time it wouldn't. There would forever be this misty and muddy terrain between Chris and Erin. Too much damage had been done for them to just smile at each other and hug it out.

The rest of the week Erin had been quiet, isolated. She didn't talk unless she was called on. The bus didn't know what to say or do. When Eva had explained what happened that Monday they were also shocked.

Erin spent most of her time on her phone or reading. Most people would think she had fallen into depression, but she just wanted to be alone for now.

She felt very self conscious now. Being quiet had made her more aware of her surroundings. She noticed how beautiful all of the girls surrounding her were so gorgeous and skinny.

She also thought about how most of them had penetrator hoodies with 'Chris' or 'William' on them highlighted in red. Everywhere she looked she saw him.

When he walked passed her locker. When he would stare at her during P.E. When he would laugh at something funny another penetrator said during lunch.

His smell. His beautiful brown eyes. His smile and laugh. Him. That's all that ran through her mind and how she let Chris Schistad walk out of her life.

///
VV PROUD OF THIS CHAPTER! HOPEFULLY ILL BE ABLE TO UPDATE 4-5 TIMES A WEEK!

—violet ;)