The Fault In Our Mary Sues

Lillian Jones Scott by Zomberella09

IM BACK!
But for real though let's jump right back into hell.
This OC was sent in by Zomberella09 , and they sent in a really cute picture (but wHY IS SHE HOLDING THAT YELLOW FLOWER?! FLOWEY?!).

Fandom: Undertale

I love Undertale. But I'm nervous because I know the fandom.

Basic Information Section:

Full Name: Lillian Jones Scott
Nickname(s): Lil
Gender: Female
Species/Race: Human - American
Age: 9
Birthday: April 18, 20XX (The first human fell in 201X and the rest of the dates are unknown)

So... are you saying that your OC comes before the timelines in the game? I don't know how I feel about that... If you're not referring to that, I'd be open for you to explain.

Sexual Orientation: Homosexual
Soul Color: Purple - Perseverance

I'm okay with this. However, maybe you could make her soul another color since there's already a soul that purple. If you mean to say that your OC was one of the first fallen humans, then please say so.

Personality Section:

Personality: Shy, cowardly (at least she's somewhat brave enough to try and make several friends), kind, quiet, acts passive-aggressive if angry, ambiverted (she likes going outside, but she still doesn't interact with many people - Idk if the term is correct or not)

Okay. Here we go.
First off, this is a pretty... lackluster personality. You DEFINITELY need to work on it. Secondly, the "Quiet and shy type but can get really scary/passive-aggressive if you make them mad" is a huge cliche. Hell, the quiet/shy/cowardly personas are quite overused anyways. Thirdly, the ambiverted part. Holy hell. Now, you made it sound like it was a word that meant one hated to go outside. However, the actual meaning is when someone has both the introverted and extroverted qualities and bounces between both. Now, I probably could've excused the stuff I've said before this part of you just said ambiverted, because then it would've made a little bit of since.

But then you said,"Idk if the term is correct or not."

Nothing... NOTHING makes me angrier than an author who doesn't even have the patience to look up something. Seriously, that could take literally 10 seconds. I'm extremely angry at this. I hope you can pull it back together with the rest.

Likes: animals, family, friends (she doesn't have many so she values them a lot), furry/ soft things, cereal
Dislikes: blood, monsters (she becomes fine with them after she finds out most of them are kind), fighting, horror stories, peanuts

Um, this is okay... a bit bland though. Spice it up some more.

Hobbies: reading, writing, drawing, playing outside

Again, these can be considered "Mary Sue" hobbies. Also, why does she like playing outside when she apparently doesn't like it (even though you used the wrong term... I can assume that's what you generally meant)?

Dreams: leave the Underground and get back to the surface. That and becoming a zoologist.
Good Habits: pays attention well, able to overcome fear sometimes, tries to be helpful to others
Bad Habits: ignores/neglects most of her problems, sleeps late, doesn't talk much