Vampire Daddy (hunhanff)

Chapter 10

The day Luhan got his drivers license was a great day for him. He was so happy and excited to be able to drive, but I was the furthest thing from it. He begged and begged me to let him take the classes to get his license and when he got his permit he wanted to go driving all the time, leaving me in the passenger seat with two seat belts on and completely motion sick.

Okay, maybe not to that extent. Luhan was an alright driver. He did get much better with time, but I wasn't ready for him to start taking himself to school. There was too much freedom, and I loved my car (although I only used to drop him off and pick him up from school, with the occasional trip to the grocery store).

We ended up getting into an argument over me not letting him use it and that I'm being controlling when it's not that. I don't want him going out with his friends and doing things they aren't supposed to and get hurt. Okay, maybe I am being controlling, but it's for the best. He's not supposed to drive with friends yet either, and I'm scared he still will and end up getting in a wreck. If he killed himself driving I don't know what I would do.

When he turned seventeen I decided he could start taking the car. He's had his drivers license for the appropriate amount of time and is now able to drive with other people, but I told him I still didn't want them going out during lunch and be late to class.

I knew that he still was, and I could have gotten mad at him about it and taken his car privileges away, but I didn't. He's a good kid, and I know he's being careful while driving so I'll let him continue but tell him not to leave McDonald's trash in the back seat.

I also got him a phone because if he's going to be driving by himself he needs to be able to call me if something happens. From running out of gas to the car somehow breaking down and needing my help. I can also now get ahold of him when I need to, although he doesn't always respond at first he later apologizes and says he always forgets to check it because he has it off or forgets that he has it.

He also has been going out more and staying out later than I want him out. He won't tell me he's staying out late either and I'll be waiting for him to get home and worry that he's hurt. I'll call him and he won't answer but then text me he went to a friend's house to do school work. I don't know if he's really doing school work, nor why he won't answer my call which is really unsettling.

It went on like that for months, and I explained to him that I wouldn't mind him going out if he'd just tell me first but he wouldn't have it. He started yelling at me, saying I'm trying to control his life and everything he does and that if he told me about his plans then I'd tell him no.

He didn't talk for me from Tuesday to Thursday, didn't come home at all on Friday, and turned his phone completely off. I had enough of this and knew when he got home he was going to get it. No more car, no more hanging out with friends, no more phone, and I wanted to think of other things but I couldn't.

I got mad, too mad, to a point that I crushed my phone in my hand and had to leave the house so I wouldn't break anything else. I needed to cool down, and if he wasn't home by twelve I was... I was... I wanted to call the police and tell them my sons missing, but I know he's not missing. He read my text massages but didn't reply, he's doing something he knows he shouldn't be.

I tried to distract myself and only made myself turn my anger away from him and at myself.

I shouldn't have let him use the car after the first time he didn't come home. I should have made him prove he could be trusted with it, but he can't. He can't be trusted with my car and I don't know when or if he'll be able to earn my trust back after this.

If I wouldn't have given him that car he would be home. If I wouldn't have given him the car he couldn't not come home. If I wouldn't have given him the car I would know he was safe. If I hadn't given him the car he wouldn't be out doing things he shouldn't. If I wouldn't have given him the car I would be at home with him. If I wouldn't have given him the car he couldn't do these fucking things.