Imperial Coffee

Library: Part Two

Cinder had changed. Kai noticed the moment she walked in. Her eyes were red-rimmed, he thought, and her hair was down before she reached the counter. Her posture was of someone who had not slept an hour the night before.

"Good morning, Mr. Huang."

He winced. Did he do something wrong? In all three weeks they'd worked together, she had never returned to formalities.

She had never refused to meet his eyes.

"It's Ka—" He stopped himself. She wasn't listening. He sighed and adjusted his apron. He fixed a smile on his face and charmed his way to lunch, though his gut fell progressively lower as the day passed.

One time he tried to move back and talk to Cinder, but he caught her swiping at her cheek.

He did something. He must have. But what?

Ever since the first day, they had eaten lunch together at one of the tables. It turned out Cinder didn't Skype her sister that often at the café, and they both appreciated the company, though they were normally joined by a fellow employee or two.

Cinder wasn't sitting at their normal table that day. Kai sat down and started to eat alone, until he groaned and slammed his fist on the table. This was ridiculous. How could he call himself a friend? Companion? Colleague? If there was something going on, he had to resolve it.

Or else it would resolve itself, and not in a way he planned.

He walked outside the café and almost gave up on finding her until he caught the glimpse of her figure at a park bench. He resisted calling her name out, afraid she wouldn't respond. Afraid she would call him Mr. Huang. Afraid she would walk away.

"Hey, Cinder," he said, coming up behind the bench. When she looked up, her eyes were redder, hair somehow messier. Her eyebrows were raised in surprise.

"Hey. Kai."

"Can I sit here?"

She paused, before nodding.

"Go ahead."

They ate in silence. Cinder's stomach sloshed like a rag in a bucket of dirty water, and when she raised her sandwich to her mouth she found her hands shaking. Could Kai tell? She hated herself for coming to work that day, for talking to Kai at all. She wanted a clean break before anything went more wrong.

Before she had to say goodbye, again.

"Can I ask something?" Kai placed his sandwich in his lap, and she was surprised to hear a note of concern in his voice.

No. Please don't. I don't want you to see me like this. I don't want you to see me at all...

She couldn't bring herself to say yes, so she nodded.

"Did I...do something wrong?"

Her throat closed up. She couldn't eat her food, a knot blocking her airway. She felt her breathing grow rushed, her heart pounding. It's not you, it's me. She didn't know what people meant when they said that, but she knew what it meant for her. It was her fault. It was all her fault. It was always her fault.

"No," she said. The word choked.

"Then is something wrong?"

She tried to calm her heart beat, but it was out of her control. Not even he cared about you. How could you expect anyone to care? How could you assume that of someone?