(Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters FanFiction.)
"In your personal opinion, why is love so hard to find?" I ask him and he chuckles
"Because people are looking for it."
Best friends Jace and Clary have always been close, but not always this close.
A...
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And we don't notice any time pass We don't notice anything We sit side by side in every class Teacher thinks that I sound funny But she likes the way you sing
~ We're going to be friends (The White Stripes)
{Clary}
My hands fidget behind me, fingers tangling with each other as I try find the words I've been searching for all weekend. Dylan is a great guy, really he is but he's just not the one for me, maybe I could use those words?
No, surely that was still too cruel. I had to go about this gently. I didn't want to hurt him. But what to say? I haven't ended many relationships, especially with people I still like as a person. I decide I'm just going to have to rip it off like a bandaid, get it over and done with or I'll never do it. I turn my face towards him, my mouth open and ready to end everything but he's already speaking.
"This isn't working is it?" He asks me, running his hand through his neat brown hair, his face turned towards me slightly like he can't quite look directly at me. I just blink like an idiot.
"Sorry?" Is he breaking up with me?
It's a chilly afternoon, colder than it should be in august and I can tell Dylan can feel it biting into him too as he tugs his jacket tighter as we continue to stroll down the street. I keep my voice low so others on the sidewalk don't hear our conversation, not that they seem to care anyway. A thousand people were probably breaking up in this city at this exact moment.
"Us." He confirms my suspicion that yes, he is breaking up with me. And in doing so he's also saving me the trouble of doing it myself, I could sing. I'm terrible at things like this. Id been stressing out over the whole ordeal for over two weeks, practicing in the mirror, rehearsing my speech on the way here about how he was a fantastic person but I just wasn't feeling it till I got here and the speech dissipated.
"Not really." I admit and I actually chuckle a little, even if it should be far from funny. Dylan also sees the funny side, smiling kindly, he usually does. One of his good traits.
Im surprised to find that it still seems to upset me a little though, purely because you're so hopeful at the start of a relationship, there's a whole bunch of what ifs and for it to fail just 5 months in, it's like losing something or never even having it at all and having no idea where to look for it now. I was back to square one, single and not entirely sure if I even want that to change.
Dylan stops me, shuffles around on the spot a little obviously feeling very awkward and looks like he's trying to find something else to say. I wonder if he too had rehearsed something before coming today or if he was just picking up on how I was feeling. If it's the latter that makes me feel worse.
