Whatever Chains (Sequel to Where Your Heart is - A Harry Styles fanfiction)

Part Thirteen: ... but I still feel the same.

Everything was going as I expected. My walls were up high and reinforced; my weapons loaded and ready to be fired; I even managed to take a few shots.

I was sharp and reactive, ready to take no prisoners.

And then she had to go and touch me. She had to put her hands on me and that is all it took for my defenses to come crumbling down at her feet.

I tried to stand my ground, even when my determination had already been reduced to nothing but dusty debris, but seeing her cry was the ultimate straw.

I can't do this. And no matter how hard I was trying to convince myself otherwise, the truth is that I never stood a chance.

My hand is pressed against her and she's looking at me bemused by my sudden reaction.

Her eyes, still reddened by the tears but already dry, are widely open and piercing right through me. Her lips tremble, as if she's trying to say something but there's no sound coming out from them.

My entire body is awake and aware of how close we are; every fiber of it pulsing with the urge of breaching the almost nonexistent distance remaining between us.

And now I'm slowly leaning towards her, ready to settle our issues once and for all.

"What the hell are you doing?" The sound of her hand smacking mine away comes as fast as the tingling pain it causes me.

As precise as a whip she uses my confusion to wiggle away from me, leaving me stunned and frozen in my spot.

"What just happened?" I ask almost to myself, looking at my hand, turning around to where she is.

"You were going to kiss me!" She squeals with outrage, placing two fingers on her lips. "I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing, but I won't be a part of it."

"This is a joke, right?" I can't help but to let out a small, cynical laugh.

"I don't know, Harry, is it? Because you came in here practically telling me you're over it, which if I may add, I kind of already noticed the last couple of weeks, and then you pull something like that? From where I'm standing, it seems like you're just trying to screw with my head. And no matter how much we both think I deserve it, I won't take it."

My head is spinning. Literally, as every single word she just said to me sinks its way into my brain, I can feel the ground shifting beneath my feet.

"Wow! Let's back up just a moment...." I stop her as a specific sentence resonates within me. "You kind of noticed the last couple of weeks? What's that supposed to mean?"

She looks at me enraged, raising her eyebrows with disdain.

"You know exactly what it means. But since I have no right saying it, let's just leave it at that."

Of course I know what she means. It's not like I was expecting my little adventures would go unnoticed by her; in fact, if I analyze it with honesty, whether it was out of spite or to drag her out, I kind of wanted her to see all of it.

"Oh, no! By all means, do say it." I encourage her, almost amused by the turn of events. "Have at it."

She looks at me attentively, like an animal trying to avoid a trap. But I can tell she's dying to let it out.

"I'm talking about all the clubbing and partying and..." She trails of and I give her a feign look of confusion, like I have no idea what she's going to say next. "all those girls."

"Oh... that!" I shrug. "Yeah, you definitely have no right..."

"Go to hell!" She interrupts me with a grunt of sheer frustration, and I can see her face turning a few shades redder than usual.

"However..." I continue, pretending I didn't hear what she just yelled, looking at her through heavy lidded eyes. "I guess I could explain myself. If that's what you want me to do."

She crosses her arms against her chest and nods nonchalantly, as though she couldn't care less about what I have to say but she's simply indulging me.

"I lost it, Lea. That's basically it." This is my chance to let it all out. To tell her everything I went through. Everything that she put me through, actually. "When I found out you were gone, my heart broke so badly, I couldn't function. I spend months trying to find you, but I never really knew where to begin. I practically begged Jasper to tell me where you were and he kept refusing every time."

A small spark of anger begins to light up inside of me as I remember all the endless conversations I had with him, and how the outcome was always the same.

But I smother it at once, knowing that there is no point dwelling on it. Not anymore. Not when she's finally standing in front of me, found.

"... So then came the rage. And it took me completely. I kept telling myself I needed to show you I was liberated from you and your ghost, and if that hurt you in the process then so be it."

"That worked." She mutters. "So I guess that makes us even?"

I think about it long and hard, aware that my answer would make us or break us forever.

If I say that we are, indeed, even, that means we are turning a new leaf and starting from scratch. No more questioning and posing; a brand new start, whatever that entails.

If I say we are not, then we are definitely through. Because what's done is irreversibly done, and if we can't move past it now, we will never do it.

I'm not quite sure as to how I really feel. I know that I'm not as angry as I was before I walked in, but that's because I'm looking at her and hearing her voice.

There's no telling what I'll feel tomorrow morning when the dust has settled. And like I said, if I decide to stay, it has to be for good.

But the idea of losing her from my sight again is more terrifying than any other uncertainty I may have; so I finally realize is a no-brainer.

"Hi, I'm Harry." I say, smiling coyly and stretching my hand towards her which she takes rather hesitantly. "And you must be the flower girl."

With a wide grin and teary eyes she sighs and nods, gripping my hand with more confidence.

In that moment I feel a kick of electricity running all the way from my arm and up and down my spine. With a gentle, yet strong tug, I pull her in.

When our mouths collide and my lips possesses hers there is no taming to our hunger for each other.

All those months I had been deprived of her come rushing back ready to claim their reward.

It's animalistic and rushed, both of our hands groping as if they can't quite believe this is really happening.

And just like that, the leaf is turned. Pristine and blank, ready to be written with the next, and hopefully the best part of the saga.