Realize Your Potential (H.S)

Chapter Forty-Six

I spend the next two hours before rehearsal driving around aimlessly. Any worry I had about wasting my dad's gas is completely thrown out the window as I use the car as a way to escape my thoughts. Or rather the person who is currently invading my thoughts.

I don't have to be a genius to know that the song Styles had written was meant for me. That may be giving myself too much credit, but based on the lyrics and the way our eyes met, it's impossible to deny my suspicion whatsoever.

But Styles' song had come completely out of left field. I had no idea that he was writing again...or when he had even written the song. Then all of a sudden he has it completed and is willing to show it to Gideon? I can't help but wonder how long he's had this song sitting in his back pocket in order to try and fit it into our timeline.

However, I also become very paranoid about whether or not anyone else could make the connection between me and the song. From the sound of it, Styles had never written anything like that and the fact that he could suddenly produce a song with that level of emotion could be a little obvious. Couldn't it?

My head only spins further as I take another turn and make my way down a long road. I have no idea where I'm going, but I don't care because at least I'm putting distance between myself and the school. Even if I know that I can't just outrun this problem.

I know I shouldn't be completely shocked by the emotions that Styles had been expressing in his song, but I guess I never considered that I would be someone good enough to write a song about. A real song. Not like the one that Liam wrote that only conveyed a form of puppy love.

Styles' song was on a whole other level. Not just because of the lyrics, but because of the way the lyrics were delivered. I could feel it radiating underneath my skin, which only mirrors the way that Styles manages to make me feel every time we're in the same room. Or even when I just think about him.

Oh, God. This is getting messy.

I pull over to the side of the road and lay my head against the steering wheel. I can hear other cars going by, sounding like sudden gusts of air against the side of my car.

All I can ask myself is how did this happen? How did Styles and I find ourselves here? I know that there have been some moments between us that have potentially conveyed deeper emotion than just friendship, but I never imagined that Styles was capable of feeling anything this deep. Deep enough to write a song about it.

I had always assumed that Styles would just end up playing with my head like all the other girls and would never really settle into something serious. It was an idea that made me willing to put a little distance between us and spend all those months pounding the word friendship into my head. It seemed like the easier route, especially because everyone else was warning me to stay away.

Turns out, I've been naïve this entire time. Even if someone wouldn't pair Styles and me together straight away, it's clear that when you peel back some of the layers that we just make sense. We're both broken and cracked in different places, but we somehow fit together. Other people can try as hard as they can to bring us back up, but it seems that you need someone who knows what pain feels like to truly make you fly.

However, those thoughts scare me. The thought that after all this time that maybe Styles and I could actually be something more than friends. That after all of these months spent trying to convince myself that I didn't like him, that I was just keeping myself from something that I actually wanted.

And I know that's because I don't want to get hurt again. Styles has left before, briefly, and I don't want to imagine what it feels like to have him leave for good. I don't want to imagine a life where Styles is no longer there to call me about Ethan Tuna, or smooth away my fears before an audition, or sit with me on a curb in the middle of March as we wait for a tow truck. Styles and I had a bumpy start together, but now that we've taken off together, I don't want us to land.