Lost Daughter

Chapter 21

Victoria's p.o.v

Sleep. That's the only thing on my mind at this point. Sleep and death. Knowing that I was in a hospital made me iffy, which made me lose hours of much needed sleeping beauty time. I sat on my bed, reading the get well cards everyone had left me, some (Mike) had snuck me some some money, leaving me with three hundred and fifty dollars in total. What I was going to do with that much cash is beyond me.

The door opened and a man, most likely in his mid twenties, walked in with a smile in her hand. "Hello, Miss Fuentes. I'm Doctor Fitzpatrick. How are you this morning?" He asked me.

"As for as a fiddle," I answered sarcastically.

He chuckled. And sat down in the chair next to my bed. "Well, you're all free to go. You're father is outside taking care of some release forms, so while he's taking care of that, I wanted to talk to you. I was speaking with your father and he mentioned about you having nightmares. Is something bothering you?"

I held the stuffed monkey close to me and stared out the window. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about it," I replied back.

"Miss Fuentes, I can understand your feelings if you're going through a hard situation, but it's unhealthy to cage your emotions in a cage and leave them in there. It's best to talk about with someone rather than harm yourself," he advised.

I looked at him with a blank expression on my face. "Have you ever been abused, doctor?" I asked him quietly.

"No."

"Then you can't possibly understand my feelings in the slightest."

Doctor Fitzpatrick nodded and got up. "I apologize, Miss Fuentes. I'll tell your father that you're ready to leave," he said. "Your father told me that the two of you reunited for the first time in thirteen years. Is that true?"

"What's it to you?" I snapped. I was already done with this conversation. Can't this guy understand that I want to be left alone?

"Have you ever loved someone so much. ended up losing them and not being able to see them anymore, let alone know of their whereabouts, Miss Fuentes?"

"No," I answered.

"Then you can't possibly understand your father's feelings in the slightest," he continued, imitating my tone from earlier. "I may not know your story, but I do know that behind this hospital door is someone who loves your greatly with all of his heart. The next time you decide to kill yourself, remember that you're not just hurting yourself, but your family as well. Think about that while you're cutting yourself."

I froze and watched him walk out, not knowing what to say. I held my monkey close to me, nuzzling my face on the faux fur. I wanted to disregard his little rant. I wanted to tell myself not to give a rat's ass, but deep down, I knew he was right. I was causing suffering onto the guys, and it was all my fault. I'm such a terrible daughter. How could I look him in the eye after everything that's happened?

The door once again opened and dad and Tony came in, smiling at me, with a nurse. "Hey, baby. How are you?" Daddy asked me. Just looking at his eyes made me feel guilty. I looked at my hands and twirled my things around. "I've been in better conditions," I mumbled.

Tony sat on the other side of the bed and handed me a bag of clothes. "We brought you some clothes. We didn't know what you wanted so Erin chose for you," he said. "Do you want us to take your stuffed animals to the car while you changed?"

"Please and thank you," I said.

The nurse took out the IV and the guys left the room with all of my stuffed animals and my cards, leaving me all alone. I got off the bed for the first time and shuffled to the bathroom. I closed the floor and took off the hospital gown. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw just how bad the results were. My natural tan skin was washed out, my eyes had circles hanging under it, my hair looks like a bird built a nest over it then took a dump, I looked like Jack Skellington's kid and I smelled like a hospital and death. I brushed my hair off my face and let my fingers graze over my body.

"Mija, are you okay in there?" 

"Yeah, just thinking," I replied.

I quickly shoved on the clothes and walked out, looking down at my shoes. Daddy bent down and took my chin in his hand. "Is something wrong, mija?" he asked. I shook my head and backed away. "Tony is waiting for us. We should get going," I said.

"Victoria-"

"Let's go." I took his hand and just led outside. He looked like he wanted to continue but he saw just how badly hurt I was and didn't say anything else. We walked outside and I got in the backseat silently, buckling up my seatbelt an not saying anything else. "Are you okay, baby turtle?" Tony asked. I nodded and just stared out the window. No words were traded as Daddy got in the car and drove back to the house. It was just silent.

I nearly drifted off to sleep, but Daddy parked in front of the house and killed the engine. "Home sweet home," I heard him mutter. I got out of the car and helped Tony take some of the bagged stuffed toys, trailing behind daddy. He unlocked the door and I caught a whiff of alcohol invading my nostrils. I walked in and was greeted with the sight of beer bottles scattered across the floor, some were broken and the pieces were left on the ground. I looked at daddy, who bit his lip in embarrassment.

"Mija, why don't you go upstairs and freshen up while I clean up?" he said.

I looked away and walked upstairs. I heard Daddy whisper to Tony to follow me and make sure that I don't do anything reckless, but I kept my mouth shut. I've done enough trouble as it is. I pushed open the door and was greeted with the warm welcome of my Cinderella-esque bedroom. I felt more like a stranger trespassing than anything else. I dropped the bag to the ground and dumped out the stuffed animals. Tony sat on my bed and pulled me on his lap, his arm around my waist.

"Something's wrong. I can tell," he said. "Talk to me."

"Leave me alone, turtle," I mumbled.

"I can't. Doctor's-"

"I know what the doctor said!" I blurted out, crying. I whimpered and nuzzled my head in my hands. "I'm a terrible daughter, and a terrible human being. Daddy should have never have picked me up from the airport. His life was better off without a mistake like me. I mean, he's living his dream, seeing the world, beautiful girlfriend. He doesn't need a fucked up child who can't control her demons in the life. This is why I wanted to die. I should be dead, not torturing you guys!"

Tony kissed my forehead and let me rest my head on his shoulders. "Why don't you want to go to therapy?" he asked. I sighed and hugged his waist. "I practically grown up by myself. No one was there to help me when Mom abused me. I had to suck it up and go on with my life. To me, therapy just me submitting myself to failure. I want to prove to her that I'm not some weak little girl. But I guess she was right all along."

I sighed and closed my eyes, tired. "There's nothing wrong with being weak, Victoria. Your mother was wrong," Tony said. "Sometimes even the strongest heroes break down, and that's okay. It just proves to everyone that they're human. Crying just expresses who you feel, and sadness is an emotion. So go ahead and cry. Cry your heart out. Scream if it makes you feel better. But always remember that there are people who love you and will be there for you. You know why? Because we're a family. Our band makes up one whole ohana. And ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind."

"Or forgotten." I finished. I kissed Tony's cheek and wiped off my tears. I got off of his lap and walked downstairs, the scent of food cooking hanging in the air. I walked in the kitchen and stood next to Daddy, who was on his phone. "Daddy?"

"Yes, mija?" Daddy said, looking at me.

"I'm sorry. I should have never have acted the way I did yesterday. You were just trying to help and I was being stupid and a brat. I'm really sorry. I'll go to therapy, and I'll try to eat more. But, you still love me... right?"

Daddy bent down and held out his arms. "C'mere," he said. I walked into his arms and held him tight, not wanting to let go. "I love you so much, pumpkin. Nothing will every change that," he assured me. I smiled and kissed his cheek, looking at his eye. "Your choice: Mickey Mouse beignets or waffles?"

"Waffles," I answered.

I looked behind me and saw Tony smile at me, which I returned. In a sense, I felt better. It wasn't going to be easy, but as long as these idiots were here, I was okay. 

Come at me, mother. Round 2, drunk ass bitch.