Chapter 4
I had no idea where I was, I had no idea how bad I was. All I did know was that I felt something in my arm and something touching my hand. Slowly I forced my eyes open. My sight was blurry at first but as it cleared I could see what looked like a hospital room. Feeling the grip on my hand tighten I moved my head slightly to see Andrew there.
“Andrew, where am I?”
“Your awake, that’s a good sign,” He sat closer to me and I could feel the hand he was holding, shaking. Looking at my right wrist I could see it was wrapped in a bandage.
“You’re at the community’s infirmary. You lost a lot of blood.”
“Did you find me?”
Nodding I noticed he released our hands.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to involve you.”
“I should have seen this. I knew enough about you. I saw how you interacted. I knew what you came from.”
“Don’t blame yourself. I did this to myself. And besides, we only met each other, what a few days at most?”
“I came back from school, didn’t see you, saw the bathroom door partially closed. I saw your stuff. I thought you had a bloody nose because of the tissue on your desk. When you didn’t answer me I went to the bathroom, I noticed the door wouldn’t open all the way. You were there, part of you anyway. I went, called for help then shimmed my way in. Saw you unconscious, blood on the floor, your wrist was. I wasn’t sure how long you had been like that but I grabbed a towel, held it to your wrist and prayed I wasn’t too late, that you would pull through. You felt cold to me.” Andrew stopped, shook his head and stood up. “I’ll let them know you’re awake.”
As he walked away I could feel the pit in my stomach tighten. I had really hurt him. It almost sounded like he blamed himself for this but why? This was my fault, my doing, my own problem. He just got caught up in it. I really needed to thank him; if he hadn’t gotten back to the room when he did I would probably be dead.
Monday afternoon I was released and able to go back to my room. School was out of the question for today but that was fine by me. My arm was still bandaged and sadly open for everyone to see but overall I was lucky. The place didn’t really have a treatment center so I didn’t have to go to counseling but Andrew was allowed to ask to see my wrists at any given time if he suspected something. Andrew, I hadn’t seen him since I woke up, which I had learned had been four hours since I had collapsed and he had been with me the whole time. Andrew found me a half hour later after everything had happened, and I was on the verge of death from blood loss. I couldn’t really say I blamed him for not visiting. I had hurt him, that was obvious. Wanting to just go lay down I went to our room to see him lying in his bed. That was strange, I thought he would be in school.
“They discharged you?”
“They did.”
After I closed the door I stood there a minute before walking in further. He turned his back to me and faced the wall. I guess he was still upset. Seeing my wristband and blade on my desk I put the band back on and wrapped my fingers around the blade. The atmosphere in here was terrible. Any other day I would have gone into the bathroom to cut to deal with it but today I didn’t want to. Turning to him with the blade still in my hand I walked towards the bed.
“Andrew?”
“Yea.” He didn’t even look at me.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I never meant to involve you like this and if you’re mad at me I get that and if you want me out let me know and I’ll see what I can do.” Looking over his shoulder at me he turned the rest of his body over and sat up. I took a step back as he brought his legs over the side of the bed.
