The Crow With Broken Wings

Healing Wounds

The days spent in hospital seemed to follow the same, boring routine. For most hours of the day, my mother was there, either sleeping or reading a book to herself, occasionally exchanging a few words or walking out the room to entertain Natsu. Nurses would come in every few hours to check that I hadn't ran out of medication.

When school hours finished, the members of the team in my year would come to see me then head back to school to practice, sometimes accompanied by Nishinoya and Tanaka. With these visits came the awkward moments from a stern Kageyama and a hostile Tsukishima, staring a me the whole time. Then, after practice hours, a few of the second and third years would come, sometimes joined by Kageyama if he didn't come earlier. When they left, my father would visit me, talking to me about anything entertaining that may have happened throughout his day at work.

This sucked.

The wires that fed the medication to my body were like chains that refused to let me be free, to let me flee, to let me fly. I hated it. The constant, lonely silence that filled the room, the awkward conversations that I had to keep with everyone, the stories about how much fun everyone was having during their day whilst I was stuck here, staring at the roof: I hated it all.

I was finding it difficult to keep track of who knew what. My parents knew that I had leukaemia, but aside from maybe Sugawara, most of the other team members seemed to be caught in an endless guessing game. They were trying with all their might to find out what was wrong with me and I was trying with all my might to stop them.

X

Multiple days had passed. It was now a Saturday, my first Saturday at hospital. I had spent most of the morning sleeping until I woke up to the sound of knocking on my door. My mother opened the door and, to my surprise, Kageyama had come to see me.

"K-Kageyama? What are you doing here? It's Saturday, you should be out having fun or practicing or...anything!"

Kageyama's showed a familiar emotion, one of frustration. "Idiot. I came to see you because you're ill."

My mother very understandably sat there silently, feeling slightly uneasy about the sudden tension.

"But...you could..."

Before I could finish, Kageyama turned to my mum who was slightly startled by the sudden movement. "Sorry, but could I speak to Hinata alone, please?" He spoke in a surprisingly calm and respectful manner.

"Yes, of course." My mum carried a sleeping Natsu out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Silence.

Unlike the other times where the silence caused me to feel bored or lonely, this silence made me feel nervous and uncomfortable.

"Hinata," he said, the abrupt speak made me sit up a bit.

"Yes? What is it?" I said, swallowing.

"What's wrong with you?"

Huh? What's that supposed to mean?

"What do you mean what's wrong with me?"

"You have an illness, right? That's why you're in hospital. What illness is it? You must know by now."

I gulped. "Well, I...er..."

"Do you seriously expect me to believe you don't know?" Kageyama said, his voice raising a bit.

"It's not that, it's just..." I looked down, my eyes beginning to well up.

Upon noticing, Kageyama let out a sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit frustrated, that's all." He sat down on the seat my mother normally occupied, a slight look of defeat on his face.

"Frustrated? Is it because of me?"

Kageyama might have looked back up at me but I couldn't quite tell from the teary blur.
"No, it's not your fault. I'm just a bit...disappointed?"

"Disappointed?"

"I thought you were my partner but you're not telling me what's wrong. The whole team has been dreary since you left. Sure, Nishinoya and Tanaka have been trying to lighten the mood, but our laughs seem forced. We're all worried about you. No one knows what's wrong with you and Sugawara keeps zoning out. It's like suddenly everyone is keeping secrets from each other and- "

"Because of me?" I said with a wary voice, tears rolling down my face. "Everyone is suffering...because I'm not there? Why? I'm nothing but a decoy!"

"Idiot!" Kageyama shouted, rushing towards me and slamming his hands onto the bed rails. His hands clasps around the rails tightly. "We're all worried about you! We're a team after all! Don't you get it? We all care about you!"

They all...care about me...

"...why? If you keep worrying about me then you'll lose practice time and you might lose and the next tournament and- "

"Then get better!"

"It isn't that simple!" I shouted at him, grabbing his collar. He stepped back a little, shocked but also frightened. "This isn't something I can just will away! I may never get better!"

"Never get better?"

I paused.

Pulling my hand back to my side, I sat there, quiet for a few seconds. My body was shaking quite a bit and I felt a sudden coldness.

"Kageyama?"

He looked at me, still trying to regain composure. "Yeah, what is it?"

"I'm scared..."

"Scared of what?"

"This illness...I might die."