The Crow With Broken Wings

Clipped Wings

It had been three days since I was taken to the hospital and told I had pneumonia. My illness had gotten worse over the past few days. Most of my time was spent lapsing in and out of consciousness because of the pneumonia. Every time I woke up, someone different would seemingly be by my side, but my head was always so foggy that I couldn't tell. I couldn't remember talking to any of them. I felt so hopeless...

Today was a little different. I still felt very hot due to the fever and my body was shaking, but I felt more alert. I looked down to see my body covered in blankets.

"They're cooling blankets," a voice spoke cheerily. I looked to my side to see Sugawara by my bedside. "Good morning, Hinata!" He grinned ear to ear, perhaps to make me feel at ease.

"Hey Sugawara," I said in a strained voice.

Sugawara looked over to the other side of the room. "Look who's here to see you!"

A wave of anxiety loomed over me. Is it Kageyama?!

"You don't have to look so petrified, Shoyo..."

I looked to my side and was pleasantly surprised to see Kenma looking up at me with a handheld console in his hands. He looked up at me with a slightly bothered expression, perhaps because he thought I wasn't happy to see him.

"Kenma? What are you doing here?"

He looked back down at his console and seemingly resumed his game. After a few seconds, he responded, "I've been waiting for you wake up."

I was a little confused. Kenma glanced up at me, then sighed and put down his console.

"You collapsed before we could do our practice match and you were rushed to the hospital. Obviously I was curious what happened. Sugawara-san caught me up on everything yesterday."

"You were here yesterday?"

"Mhm." He anxiously looked around the room before fixing his gaze to the floor. "The hospital staff have been letting me stay at the hospital thanks to your mother's request."

"What about the rest of your team?"

He paused again. "Most of them went home. Kuroo has been staying with me, though he usually doesn't come into the room. He doesn't know about your leukemia, but the nurse told him you have pneumonia." Kenma looked up at me. "I think he knows something else is wrong, but he feels it's too inappropriate to ask, and it's not my place to tell him."

"Oh, I see." I looked up at the ceiling. I wasn't entirely sure how to respond. Sugawara has been by my side through most of this, and now Kenma has begun to put himself out for me, too.

Before I had the chance to say anything, a nurse walked into the room with a food trolley. "Are we feeling well enough today to eat, Hinata-san?" she said with a smile.

I quietly nodded. I tried to sit up but I was still very weak and I couldn't support myself. I started coughing before Sugawara gently pushed me back down.

"Easy, Hinata!" he said in a worried voice.

The nurse then came around the opposite side of the bed to Sugawara and the two of them adjusted my bed so I was in a somewhat upright position.

The nurse then bowed a little, then said, "I'll leave you to it once again," and walked out of the room.

Once again? What did she mean?

Kenma suddenly stood up to wheel the trolley next to me. He picked up a spoon and was about to put food on it before there was a knock on the door.

The door was opened quickly and, much to my dismay, it was Kageyama. He looked at me, Sugawara and Kenma, then looked at the food trolley.

Without saying a word, he stormed in, grabbed the spoon from Kenma's hand and scooped some food into it.

He lifted his arm up and was about to ram the spoon down my throat before Sugawara grabbed his arm. I didn't even noticed him coming round the bed to Kageyama's side since my gaze was fixed on Kageyama.

While Sugawara tried to back Kageyama away from the bed, Kenma looked at me with a panicked expression. "S-Shoyo, are you okay?"

I was not okay. My whole body was shaking furiously and I could feel my face freezing up, my eyes watering slightly.

"I-I'm fine!" I said then nervously chuckled.

Daichi then burst into the room. He smiled at me and waved, then grabbed Kageyama's collar and dragged him out of my room. I had no idea what just happened.

Sugawara let out a sigh of relief, then looked at me. "Sorry Hinata!"

"W-What was that all about?" I said, still a little shaken.

"I think Kageyama had been wanting to talk to you, but every time he's visited you, you've been so feverish that you spouted...well, I suppose all I can call it is nonsense. I guess when he saw you awake, he assumed you weren't actually awake and acted out of frustration, thinking you wouldn't remember it anyway."

"Oh, I see..." I began to get very curious about the things I had said while being feverish, but something was weighing on my mind more than that.

Kenma picked up a spare spoon gingerly and then looked at me with a slightly scrunched face. "O-Open up, Shoyo." He then mumbled, "I promise I won't attack you like Kageyama-san was going to," which made Sugawara chuckle a little.

I opened my mouth up and let Kenma feed me. It was super embarrassing for me, but I could tell that Kenma was feeling super uncomfortable too. After all, this wasn't exactly in his comfort zone. Sugawara was sat by my bed again, but he was on his phone, probably to avoid making the situation any more awkward.

Eventually at some point, when Kenma was about to feed me another spoonful of food, I kept my mouth closed and averted my gaze.

"Is everything okay, Shoyo? Are you not hungry anymore?" His voice sounded like he was troubled and I could tell that Sugawara was now paying attention to me again.

There was a lump in my throat. I wanted to tell them, but they'd been so kind to me that I didn't want to make them feel any more pity for me.

"If you're not feeling well, please say so," Sugawara said.

"That's not what it is, right Shoyo? There's something else bothering you." As helpful a skill it was, sometimes Kenma's attention to detail bothered me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see both of their faces. Kenma seemed worried yet angry, and Sugawara looked surprised, probably because of what Kenma said so suddenly.

After being silent for a few seconds, I somehow found the courage to speak up.

"Why..." I said quietly. "Why are the two of you putting yourself out for me so much?"

Sugawara's face became more concerned while Kenma's looked more angry.

"Hinata, what do you mean?"

"It's just...you're both doing so much to help me, even though it's probably use- " I suddenly choke on my words and tears stream down my face.

Sugawara began to reach out his hand to comfort me.

"IT'S USELESS!" I screamed, making both of them flinch.

I began to weep, constantly wiping away my tears with my shaky arms. The both of them stayed quiet.

"It's like Doctor Takehashi said - this pneumonia is going to kill me! You should be focusing on yourselves, not me!" 

"Hinata, I- "

"PLEASE, JUST LET ME DIE!"

I yelled without thinking. I stared down at my bed, then closed my eyes. I didn't want to see them. I didn't want them say anything.

I just wanted them to leave.