The Crow With Broken Wings

The Cat and the Crow

The room was silent.

I desperately closed my eyes, gripping the bed covers tightly with my hands. I couldn't believe I'd blurted out something so stupid. The longer the silence continued, the more anxious I became.

"Do you really mean that?"

I flinched a little then opened my eyes slowly and looked up at Kenma. Although he had spoken in a soft tone, he looked furious.

I gulped. I didn't know what to say. Both me and Sugawara were in a stunned silence.

Kenma looked to the side. It was almost as though he was forcing himself to hold back.

"I understand that you're scared, Shoyo. But do you honestly think you're the only one fighting at the moment?"

Huh? I had no idea what Kenma meant, but I didn't have the courage to ask.

He looked at me again. "You're the one with the illness - you have the hardest battle to face. But do you really think that you're alone in this battle? Do the rest of our feelings not matter?"

Without thinking, I began to speak again: "What are you talking about? This is my illness, my battle! You could never understand what I'm going through. I just wish you'd all leave me alone! That way I could just die without becoming a burden to anyone!"

Kenma raised his hand, then quickly grasped the bed railings. He was very clearly trying to stop himself from hurting me, unlike Kageyama who couldn't control himself.

"Shoyo, are you really saying you'd rather be alone in all this? None of us are put out by you. We are all here because we want to help you get better."

"What if I never 'get better'? What if you are stuck with me until I die?"

Kenma snapped.

"Quit being so selfish!"

Selfish?

"Are you really trying to tell me that we don't matter? We all care about you and are working hard to help you get better. Does that not matter to you? Are you really willing to throw away everything you've built with everyone just because you might die?"

"Kenma, please." Sugawara stood up and extended his arm out to Kenma, who quickly slapped his hand away impulsively.

"If you are really afraid you are going to die, wouldn't you rather do everything you could to fight it? Asking for help doesn't make you weak. We are all a team! We are all working our hardest to help you, so why are you giving up on us?!"

The room fell silent again. Sugawara then suddenly spoke up.

"Kozume has a point." He looked at me. "Everything I've done for you has been because I care about you. Everything the team has done for you - texting you, asking you if you're okay, coming to visit you - it's all because they are doing their best to support you. Are you saying none of that matters, that we are just getting in your way?"

Tears started to build up in my eyes again.

"No...I'm glad you guys have been here. I just-" I once again choked, but instead of being overcome with grief, I tried to compose myself so I could speak again.

"I just don't understand how you can bear to be with me. I'm so helpless. I'm literally being spoon-fed by you guys. I just don't understand why you see the need to have to put yourselves out for me when all I am doing is becoming a burden to you."

"You're our friend, Shoyo. We all need help sometimes. And you're not a burden. You're ill and that's not your fault. We are all helping you because we care about you and we want you to live, to be you again."

Surprisingly, Kenma took the hand that was gripping the rails and used it to grip his shirt near his chest. "Because of you, I began to really enjoy playing volleyball. Even though we are complete opposites, you managed to talk to me like I was any other person, to pay attention to me and to really take an interest in me. I'll never forget that. And that's why I want to help you the same way you helped me."

Sugawara smiled softly and looked at me. "When I first saw you jump the first time we met, I was so amazed. I didn't expect you to be able to jump so high. And ever since that day, you've continued to grow and get stronger, not just in volleyball, but in many aspects of your life. Your willingness to continue to grow despite being at a disadvantage because of your height inspired me to do better, and I'm sure everyone on the team would agree. You're always so positive and full of energy that being around you makes everyone happy. I think everyone misses that Hinata. They don't want to see you suffering like this and so we are all doing our best to support you so that you can be you again!"

I started crying again. Just a moment ago, I felt so hopeless and lost, but now I felt somewhat hopeful. Knowing how much everyone was fighting for me made me feel as though I ought to fight, too. I didn't want to be like this - I wanted to be strong!

"I want to live. I want to play volleyball again!"

Kenma and Sugawara looked at each other and smiled, then looked back at me. Kenma then began to speak in a soft voice.

"Mm. Let's win this, Shoyo."