Dear Life: a collection of letters and writings

Happy days.

I crave to be happy. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. But some days I just feel, empty. I still have days when I feel amazing. Everything feels right. I can get out if bed with no problems. Then there are the days where everything feels... off. Like the gut feeling that something bad might happen. My self esteem goes down. It gets harder for me to get out of bed to the point where it feels like a burden. I find joy in few things. My eyes feel hard to keep open. Nothing will feel real. I'll feel like I'm in a dream. My body feels like it's going to shut down at any god damn moment. My muscles tense up, my throats feels like it's closing in, my legs feel like giving out at any moment. I want to feel like I can breathe. I crave the days when I'm happy. My self esteem exists, everything seems bright, I find joy in the little things. On the sad days, those days seem so foreign and rare. I cherish those days when they actually arrive and hope that the feeling will last for more than just a day.