Anxious || Harry Styles

Chapter One

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I now present to you the first chapter of «Anxious»

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CHAPTER ONE

I gulp the accumulating saliva building inside of my mouth as I open the doors in front of me and step inside the building that always makes me so worried.

School.

I have always thought that high school would be the years of fun, partying, happiness and excitement. But boy was I wrong. The only thing that school seems to be known for is the large amount of work, projects, tests and presentations which causes a lot amount of stress and anxiety. Oh, and don't forget the 'wanna be populars'. 

Always in books and movies they make the 'populars' the rude kids. But to be completely honest, I think it's the 'wanna be populars' that are the rude, unclassy ones. The populars, I don't see them so often, but most of them seem decent enough. Sure they might not dress the best, but at least they have some class, unlike the 'wanna be populars'. That group is the one that causes the most trouble. They try too hard to get attention and to be noticed that they become sassy, rude, impolite and just so god damn annoying. They think what they're doing is funny when really they are making a fool out of themselves and are bullying other people. And sadly, I have been in the same school as them for ten years now and is one of their victims. 

I make my way inside the empty building, shielding myself from the freezing temperature outside. I walk up the stairs and down the halls with a tightening feeling inside of my chest; also known as anxiety. The feeling seems to be so common for me. I have felt this for as long as I remember. Well for ten years anyways. But high school just made it so much worse to a point where I feel it everyday from the moment when I wake up in the morning, all the way to the second I sleep. It's an ongoing cycle that just continues and continues and doesn't seem to have an end. It's honestly a horrible feeling that I wish could just disintegrate and leave my body, but it's so hard to do that since it seems to be a part of me. 

After putting away a few textbooks from my bag inside my locker and replacing them with notebooks, I lock my locker making the clinging noise ring through the halls. I walk to my left towards the library only seeing one or two people in the corridor. I take a deep breath enjoying this feeling. It's so relaxing. The peace and quiet is so calming and I love starting my days off like this. 

I make my way into the wonderful room filled with books and sit down in my regular spot in the far back corner of the library, on the floor with my back against the cool walls. No one comes to this part of the library, it's my space and only my space. I pull out my phone from my pocket and take out my earphones from my bag. After slipping in the ends into my ears, I play the calming melody of Ed Sheeran's A Team. I close my eyes, leaning my head on the wall enjoying this calming music.

My eyes widen with a frown on my face as I hear the familiar bell ring signalling five minutes to get to class. Forty-five minutes passed by a lot quicker than I anticipated. I put my phone away as I feel the familiar rhythm of my heart racing. I gulp trying to resolve the dryness in my throat which doesn't end up working.

I want to run. No actually I want to stay. I want to stay here in my spot in this library. I don't want to move. I don't want to get to class. I bite on my lip to refrain myself from letting out a cry as my feet carry me to my first period class. As I turn the corner of the library, the noise from all thirty students - who were previously weren't here when I came in - talking hit my ears which makes me cringe, wanting it to go away.