Anxious || Harry Styles

Epilogue

EPILOGUE

I look at the seventeen year old girl in front of me who is crying out of fear and sadness. I rub my hand on her arm to try to calm her as best as I could. 

"Take deep breaths." I encourage to which she follows right away. "It will be okay, Bailey." 

As I wait for Bailey to fully calm down, I can't help but think of how much she's going through. The poor girl suffered from many years of bullying to the point she got diagnosed with depression a few years ago. After many years of counselling, her depression went away but her anxiety hasn't. She gets panic attacks quiet frequently and she said today was one of her worst. She got it when she found out her old bullies are all in her English class and so she skipped classes to come talk to me as she breaks down. 

"I'm so scared. I don't want to see them. I'm scared they will pick on me again and my old, horrible thoughts will come back." Her breathing is rapid and her eyes are still teary. 

"I will switch you out to a different class for sure. Okay, Bailey." She nods looking grateful. I click away at the computer changing up her schedule. Luckily it is possible because sometimes all the classes are full making the task not changeable. "There you go, it's all set. You still have English, Art, Physics and the other ones, except Chemistry is switched with French. Is that alright?" She nods. 

"Thank you." I give her a smile along with a nod.

She's such a sweet girl, she reminds me of a younger, girl version of Harry in a way. Both by how they act, their story, and their green eyes and curly brown hair.

"I honestly don't think I could do any presentations though." She looks at me with her wide, watery eyes. I put my hand back on her shoulder. 

"I understand. If you really can't, then you don't have to." She nods. "You know, Bailey. I totally understand what you are going through. You are not alone. I know sometimes you feel like such an outcast and so lonely, but you are not. When I was in high school, I had anxiety too. I had no friends, I was bullied, and I felt so lonely. But you know what? There was a guy in my English class who had anxiety too. Anxiety and depression to be exact. He was so lonely, always looking so sad. His eyes looked so lifeless." 

I take a pause, seeing Bailey looking at me intently, wanting to know what happened next. A smile itches on my face when I think about what happens next in mine and Harry's story.

"So one day, I gained the courage to talk to him. It was really scary and I was still shaking after it happened but I am so glad I did, because that boy is now my husband." I smile. She gives a small one back.

"What happened though? To the people who bullied you, your anxiety and his depression?" 

"The people who bullied me started bullying him too, but we won over them. Our parents and our teacher helped us stop it. They got suspended for a week and they eventually stopped. Our anxiety, however, was still really intense throughout university. But his depression went away." 

I remember the day me and Harry went to Dr. Erica for our weekly appointment. I remember sitting in the waiting room thinking about the conversation I just had with Dr. Erica not to long before while Harry was inside the room having his turn. When Harry came out, he had the biggest smile on his face. He came to me and crashed me into a hug. I remember being really surprised but happy nonetheless because my love is happy. Then he told me, "Joey, I'm clear. I don't have depression anymore.' That has got to be one of the best days ever. Right besides our wedding day and giving birth to our kids. 

"Do you still have it now?" I look back at Bailey, shaking away from my daze. 

"I honestly feel like it won't fully go away. I feel like it is part of me because I will always have my days where I get the anxious feeling when I have something I am not looking forward too, but it's nothing compared to how it was in high school. Same with my husband. It's really hard to get rid of one hundred percent but it will get a lot better, I promise you that. Over the years you will learn how to help the feeling go away when you are feeling anxious." She nods, taking a deep, a smile forming on her lips.