BTS Oneshots And Scenarios

scenario 7 📝

How you react when Bts text/ring you drunk (Bts as you Older brother)

-jin-
Big brother: SIIIIIIIIIIISTRRRRRRRRR
You: yes ☺
Big brother: I LOOOOOVVVVCEEER YOU
You: Bro are you drunk?
Big brother: NEeeevvvertas
You: dude wtf Eomma gonna kill go!
Big brother: HWWEELP
You: is anyone else there
You: who is sober?
Big brother: NAMJJJJJJJIOWNE
You: give your phone to him
Big brother: Y/N?
Big brother: Jin needs help
You: ask the drunk where his car keys are?
Big brother: he says he won't tell you you'll bust the car up
Big brother: oh he says on the kitchen cabinets at the very top.
You: very funny Seokjin very funny
You: Namjoon I'm on my way how did he get in this mess?
Big brother: he drank something that looked like lemonade, it wasn't
You: okay I'm coming to get the drunk.

-Hooooobbbi-
*phone rings*

"Hello, Hoseok?"
"Now sister my friend of another friend. We have known each other since our friends and-"
"Hope are you drunk?"
"No! I'm your Angel, I'm your hope im-"
"I'm jhope I know! where are you! Its half past 12!"
"NO IM JHOPE! You know I like. What was I gonna say?"
"HOSEOK WHERE ARE YOU?!"
"Jungkakes house, that's his name right? The more I look and say it the more abnormal it sounds. Its funny jungkook, JuNgKoOk, JUNGKOOK*laughs*"
"I'm coming to get you, he literally lives up the road. I wish you called walk home!"
"*laughs*"
"Hope what?"
"JuNgKoOk!*laughs louder*"
"Ohhhhhmyyyyygooooodd!!!"

-Yoooooonnnnggi-
*phone rings*

"MIN YOONGI WHERE ARE Y-"
"Sis I'm at a party and I need you to drive me home."
"Oh really? Where Are you?"
"I have NO idea, I ended in some fucking random place. I was at the party it was dope as fuck but now im in an alley...."
"YOONGI!!!!"
"*hiccups* I'm drunk you know. And still swag as fuck! *hiccups*"
"Stay where you are I'm calling the boys to tell me where you are!"
"Oh look a homeless man. HELLO HOMELESSNESS MAN!"
"YOONGI PLEASE DON'T. actually put him on the phone."
"Herlo?"
"Hello Mr homeless man where are you?"
"* local street name* alley. Pick this boy up he's making a scene."
"Thank you."

-MONIMONIMONI *dodododododo*-
You: hey Namjoon Eomma is wondering where you are its getting late.
Destroyer: i Mm nanow nppme
You: you're not at hobi's are you
Destroyer: sssddddhhghhhh
Destroyer: Juangkppk awaannts yyyo talk
You: oh lord
Destroyer: hello Y/N
You: thank god a sane person! Where are you guys that my brother is going crazy?
Destroyer: we are at a bar. We are all drunk, me is tipsy, and we can NOT get home
You: how long have you wanted to come home
Destroyer: ages but because we are all fucking drunk we have just been drinking. And drinking.
Destroyer: please drive us home.
You: I'm on my way
You: hell kill me if he knows u used the car
You: and where at you
Destroyer: *local bar name* please hurry

-Jimmine-
*phone rings*

"Herlooooo!"
"Um hello? Jimin you okay"
"I'm cheese now listen to me. I'm drunk, I'm at our local cloob and that's it-"
"Jimin.....YOURE DRUNK!"
"yyyyyyyyaaaaaassss don't tell eomma."
"She knows she's coming to get you. appas mad at you too!"
"Butttmyfuuun"
"Wait she texted me, she's there!"
*mom yells at Jimin in background*
"Jimin?Jimin?helllooooooo?!"
"Y/N its mom. Remind your dad to take jimins phone of him when he's sober."
"O-okay mom"
"Ahhh and just Jimin said to tell you that he loves you and he's gonna need you to help him throw up."
"Ewwwwww. Okayokay"
"Oh and young lady"
"Yes?"
"I'm glad you're the responsible one"
"Thanks mom"

-TaeTae-
BubbleTæ: Y/N this is Yoongi
Bubbletæ: this is important
Bubbletæ: FUCKING ANSWER THE GOD DAMN PHONE
You: what what what what what?!?!
Bubbletæ: Tae is drunk of his fucking ass!
Bubbletæ: he grinding against this girl, he was just body rolling with her
You: not my problem
You: he's old enough to do what he wants
You: its not like he's a virgin
Bubbletæ: but Y/N! She's *enemy's name*
You: she's who?!
You: where are you?!
Bubbletæ: *local club name*
You: ahhh that's where eomma and appa met
Bubbletæ: well its gonna be the place he's gonna fuck your enemy NOW GET THIS  FUCKER
You: fine I'm on my way, should I use mums car or dads
Bubbletæ: Dads because its swag
You: they know he's gone. Now he's gonna gt in trouble.
Bubbletæ: Y/N they're playing tonsil tennis!!!!
You: FUCK IM COMING!!!!!

-Jungkookie-
You: jungkook appa wants you back now x
Kookie: nnnaaaa x
You: but you're only at Jimins house x
Kookie: lies x
Kookie: I'm drunkkk x
Kookie: and I think I'm stoned
You: shit!
You: do you want me to get you
Kookie: nahahhhhhh biach x
You: um texting Namjoon
You: I'm getting you, AND STOP DRINKING
Kookie: naaahhhhaaaa
You: where are you?
Kookie: at a bar.
You: I can see you get here now! x
Kookie: naaahaaa x
You: behind you x
Kookie: helllloooo sister x

"God kookie you smell like whiskey"
"Shhhh shhhhh dance" *you grab his ear*
"COME ON BOYS!" *everyone follows you to your truck*