Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

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  • Dedicated to >PEEbrains< everywhere
                                    

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?

Do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover your pillow is covered with hair?

What ought not to be there...

Well ladies and gentlemen, from now on you can waken at ease!

You need never again have a worry or care,

I will show you a miracle, marvelous, rare!

Gentlemen you are about to see something what rose from the dead......

On the top of my head!

'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

That's what did the trick, sir.

True, sir, true.

Was it quick, sir?

Did it in a tick, sir

Just like an elixir ought to do!

How about a bottle, Mr?

Only costs a penny, guaranteed!

Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?

You can have my oath, sir

Tis unique.

Rub a minute

Stimulatin' innit?

Soon you'll have to thin it once a week!

Todd- pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?

Lovett- are we standing near an open trench?

Must be standing near an open trench..

(pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?)

Try Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

Anything what's slick, sir

Soon sprouts curls.

Buy Pirelli's,

When they see how thick, sir

You can have your pick sir

Of the girls!

How about a bottle missus?

Todd- what is this?

Lovett- what is this?

Todd- smells like piss

Lovett- smells like, ew...

Todd- looks like piss..

Lovett- wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear!

Todd- this is piss, piss with ink!

Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir!

Todd-Keep it off your boots, sir. Eats right through!

Yes! Get Pirelli's, use a bottle of it!

Ladies seem to love it!

Lovett- Flies do too

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