I Have To Look Up Just To See Hell

The Dope Show

Chapter 9 – The Dope Show

{Three months later…}

I breathed in deeply, the smell of rain and dust floating on the chilly night air. Three months in Europe and finally back in the good old US of A. I’d missed Marilyn and Abbie something fierce, but I smiled at the knowledge that they’d be in my arms again soon.

“Shan…” I turned back, looking at my gangly, lopsided smiling idiot of a manger and chuckled at his dishevelled appearance. “You really need to finish those songs.”

I sighed as the first drops of rain fell on my shoulders. “I know…I’m coming.”

***

“I gots a taste for men who're older. It's always been, so it's no surprise.” My manager looked down at me with a slight smirk. “I distinctly remember saying that to you…about you.”

“Inspiration comes in many forms.” I smirked back. “It just so happened to be you this time.”

“Well, I love Cola and Off to the Races…and your fans will too.” He smiled at me as he plonked himself down on the couch opposite me. “You wanna try them out towards the end of the tour?”

“Sure, why not? Cola will be a right smash.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m tired…and hungry…”

“Room service?” my manager asked. I nodded and he stood. “I’m on it.”

“This is gonna be a long night…”

***

{One month later…}

I smiled as I sat signing shirts, books and CD’s for fans that had followed us all the way to the Chateau Marmot in LA. Tonight was the last show. My manager was up to something, but I’d yet to figure out what with all my time today taken up with more important and worrying conundrums. He was on the phone now, smiling and checking his watch as he spoke to God only knew who.

“I’m such a huge fan!” A young girl smiled at me and I grinned brightly back at her as I signed her CD.

“Who shall I be addressing this to, eh hun?” I gave her a friendly smile as she blanked for a moment. “Name?”

“Kat…” she smiled timidly, watching the pen fit across the inside cover of the CD.

“To my dear friend, Kat. You can do anything you set your mind to. Love, Lana…” I smiled and stood, hugging her briefly before sighing and looking around the room as she skipped off. “Well…I guess that’s everyone…everyone but the press…”

“Mommy!” I spun on the spot, my eyes wide as I heard Abigail’s small, excited voice over the dying babble.

She ran straight to me and I scooped her up in my arms, hugging her tightly. “Abbie!” I laughed and giggled with her as I pressed kisses all over her face. “What are you doing here?! Where’s daddy?”

“Daddy’s here.” I heard a low, gravelly voice behind me…my favourite voice in the world.

“You and Frankie decided to surprise me then.” I mentally smacked myself as I glared at my manager across the room; he merely grinned and shrugged.

“Mhmm, we sure did.” Marilyn chuckled lightly, his arms wrapping around me and Abbie tightly; and, for the first time in months, I felt truly safe. I looked up and Marilyn kissed me lovingly, about a million cameras going off. “Mmm…I missed that…”

I laughed softly. “Same…” I snuck a glance at the waiting journalists and the diminishing flashes from the cameras. “Should we?”

“Yes…I think we should.” Marilyn smirked and turned, one arm still around me and Abbie, to look at the small group of press watching us intently. “I know you guys are excited about this, but it’s been on the books for weeks. We’ll be doing the last show for both our tours together…tonight… any questions?”

***

{Later that night…}

I sat on the hotel room bed, watching the news. The show had gone spectacularly…my only worry was that the local news stations had gotten wind of it now and were about to start talking about the show.

As the reporter began her report, I called over my shoulder to Marilyn. “Honey! It’s starting…”

“What?” he frowned as he came out of the bathroom and then saw the television. “Oh…”

‘Closer to home, tonight marked the last shows of both Lana Del Rey’s first and Marilyn Manson’s latest tours. Thy surprised fans everywhere when they announced that they would be performing their last shows together. The Chateau Marmot in LA was packed for the last gig, fans suitably different in opinion…

“Yeah, it was amazing to hear them sing with each other…interesting mix of genre and sound… overall it merged nicely but I just kept thinking ‘why?’…It was amazing! Best night of my life!...  Shouldn’t have been done… These two are gonna last forever…”

‘With these two very different sounds merged so brilliantly, it would seem that this husband and wife dynamic duo are going to continue to ‘wow’ us for years to come…In other news…’

I breathed in raggedly, falling back onto the bed as Marilyn chuckled. “See? That wasn’t so very bad.” I groaned and made a face at him as his phone rang loudly. “Hey Twiggy…what? What do you mean? Okay, okay I’m doing it…” he paused as he switched channels and turned the sound up. “Uh…honey…” he said.

I looked at his smirking face and then at the TV… “My music video is playing!” I all but screamed as I sat up quickly and nearly fell off the bed.

“That was Lana Del Rey’s Born To Die, a smash if ever I heard one…” the TV host grinned at the camera before Marilyn turned the TV off.

“Thanks Twiggy…she needed that.” Marilyn said as he hung up, pulling me back onto the bed and laying us down, cuddling me. “See? You did it… you’re a smash!” he said lovingly as he kissed my hair.

I leant up and kissed him adoringly before pulling back and smiling wickedly. “No…we did it… we’re a smash…”

***

{One week later…}

I clutched the pregnancy test in my hand as I held my stomach, emptying its contents into the toilet for the third time that morning. I didn’t know if I was pregnant again, and wouldn’t for another three minutes…this was torture.

Slowly, I stood and went to the sink, rinsing my mouth out and brushing my teeth again. I looked at how pale I was and grimaced. I hadn’t been this unwell since I’d been pregnant with Abbie…so that had to be it, didn’t it? I bit my lip, a small smile flitting across my features. Another baby? Could we do it?

I heard the front door open and close quietly. He must think I’m still asleep. I smiled at his consideration. I listened as he came up the stairs and into our bedroom. “Honey?” he called gently.

I looked down at the pregnancy test in my hand and balked slightly. “I…in here love…”

“Oh, I thought you’d be asleep…are you okay?! You’re white as a ghost!” Marilyn gasped as he opened the bathroom door and saw me. “Honey?” I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move except to hold out the test for him to see. His eyes widened slightly as he saw the little plus sign. “You’re…you’re pregnant?”

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Okay, longer chapter! Hope you enjoyed! Slight cliff hanger...should I leave it there? ;)

Do comment and vote my lovelies!!