Misunderstood [Phan] (COMPLETED)

Chapter: 7

Phil and I walk outside and I deeply inhale the cold air. We start walking

You tell yourself that you're okay, but deep down you know you're screwed up. kill yourself. Can't you see that you're hurting Phil? He was perfectly fine before you came into his life. End your life, it's so easy. No one wants you here. Diediediediediediediedie

These voices I heard in my head were getting more and more nasty and demonic

Maybe I should kill myself. I started to tell myself

I've caused Phil so much trouble since I've met him. I sighed out loud

"Love hurts, doesn't it?" Phil said completely out of the blue

"Hmm?"

"People risk so much for love, or even just to feel loved"

I looked over to Phil who was smiling widely. I frowned. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even realise that we were in a fucking forest

"Wait, where the fuck are we?" I asked

"We're going to the park" Phil spoke so casually

"B-but... nevermind"

Phil was actually scaring me.

Where was he taking me? Is this why he's so nice to people? He gains their trust then takes them into the forest and kills them? Are there other people here going to beat me up? Is Phil actually evil? Did Phil never like me?

All these crazy thoughts were going through my head.

Most of them weren't very logical but my anxiety was making me think up all these delusions

I began panicking until Phil grabbed my hand and pulled me through a few trees, revealing an abandoned looking playground

It looked very rustic; a swing set, a slide, monkey bars, a seasaw. I really liked it, it was cute

"Wow" I said

"I knew you'd like it" Phil spoke nicely

"Does anyone else ever come here?" I asked

"Nope, you're the only one I've shown this place to aswell. I don't think anybody even knows this is here"

I smiled and blush

I saw a big, tall tree stump and decided to climb up it. Phil chuckled

"What are you laughing at?" I asked before sitting down and crossing my legs

"You. You're adorable" he answered

I shook my head whilst trying to hide my smile. A short while later Phil stood in front of the stump I was sitting on and clapped twice

"What?" I questioned

"Jump" Phil said

Hearing that word reminded me of my dad. A couple years ago when I was about to kill myself, my dad found me... I was standing at the edge of a tall cliff and all he said was "Jump"

If my mum had even been a second late, I would be dead. It's a weird thought, huh? I wish I had listened to my dad, I wish I had jumped, I wish I was dead

My mum quickly grabbed me and pulled me away from the cliff. But she didn't and still doesn't know that I was about to kill myself, she was just being her overprotective self, not wanting me to fall...

"Dan!" I heard Phil's slightly muffled voice

Oh, I must've zoned out

I looked down at Phil

"Are you okay?" He asks

"Yeah, sorry" I say before jumping off the tree stump, Phil catches me and I quickly wrap my legs around his waist to stop myself from falling

Phil laughs and I smile then he kisses me. I put my arms around his neck and kiss him back

I need to act happy for Phil

"Wanna start heading back now?" Phil asked, pulling away from the kiss

I nodded then Phil put me down. Phil and I started walking back to his place but halfway there, we got stopped by a few guys

"Sup faggots" one of them said

"Um... who are you?" Phil asked

"None of your business, we saw you guys kissing afternoon and I almost threw up" he said

I rolled my eyes then looked back at the bully

"What are you looking at, princess?"

"Not much" I responded while crossing my arms

The bully pushed me, causing me to fall to the ground

"You want to be smart with me ever again, I'll beat the shit out of you" he said then walked off with his friends

His school bag said 'Greg', that must be his name

Phil kneeled down next to me

"Are you alright?" Phil asked

I groaned then stood back up "I'm fine"

Phil wiped the dirt off of my back then grabbed my hand and we continued to walk back to his house

At last we got to Phil's place

"Do you want something to eat?" Phil asked me, walking through the front door

"No thanks"

"But you haven't eaten all day" he stated

"I'm just not hungry" I lied

"Okay but if you get hungry just let me know"

I nodded. While walking upstairs, I suddenly got a craving for pain, but I didn't have a razor or anything to hurt myself with. I decided to tell Phil

"Hey Phil..." I spoke quietly and nervously

"Yeah?" Phil said, sitting down on his bed

" I-I want to hurt myself.." I stuttered anxiously, I felt uneasy

Phil quickly stood and kissed me

"Can you try and ignore it?" He asked

"I-I don't think so"

Phil clearly didn't know. I began instinctively scratching my arm without knowing it

Phil grabs my hand, pulling into me for a passionate kiss, stunning me in a mind set of utter shock but at the same time an ecstasy I have never experienced. It was the most passionate any kiss could ever be

Phil then pulls away from the kiss, lifting his hand onto the side of my face, looking into my eyes and plea's to me

"If you ever feel like this again, talk to me, call me, come over, any time of the day or night. Let me be there to take your mind of it and remind you with each moment I look at you just how much I wa-no, need you to be in my life, because now I know what I'm here for and it's to make sure each and every day you wake up to the sun, I'm there to make sure you keep smiling to the moment it goes back down and you go back to sleep ready for the next day of our lives together"