The Wish List

Stronger

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

~Cayla Mills

I woke up early the next morning, but I had never felt so refreshed in my life.

I had gotten more then a couple hours asleep, which hadn't happened since Steph had gone into the hospital four years ago.

I found Tessie already downstairs, playing on the tablet with Sienna watching TV beside her.

"Ms. Lys! Good morning!" I smiled at Sienna's greeting, squeezing her hand on my way toward the kitchen.

"Good morning, Sienna. It's nice seeing you back. How is Eddie doing?" She frowned, the wrinkles around her eyes around her eyes more predominant.

"He's doing all right, dear. They have him on some good medication." I smiled, nodding in encouragement.

"That's wonderful, Sienna. I'm so happy to hear that." She thanked me with a nod, giving me the chance to slip into the kitchen to make myself a Mocha.

I was pouring the water into the coffee pot when I heard a giggle from behind the fridge. I could feel a smile making it's way on to my lips as I acted as if I hadn't heard it.

"Boo!" Tessie jumped out, giggling as she waved her hands in the air. I threw my hand over my chest, gasping.

"You scared me!" I cried, kneeling down and ruffling her hair, "Don't do that." She giggled, wiggling out of my grip and jumping up and down so she could see over the counter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm making coffee." She made a disgusted face.

"For Daddy?" She guessed with a big grin.

"Yeah, baby girl." I replied, before turning around and hitting the On button.

Tessie stood beside the fridge, looking at the picture of Steph and me being held on it by a magnet.

"Who's this?" Tessie whispered.

"That was my little sister." I explained, hoping my voice sounded as strong as I thought it did.

"Where is she?" She stared at the picture, reaching for the letter magnet that held it there.

"She. . . she died a little while ago." Tessie blinked, her eyes wide.

"Is that why you found Daddy? Because you were sad?" I was a little too shocked to answer right away, so I let my eyes stay on the little girl in front of me as I tried to come up with one.

"Sort of." I finally answered, "Daddy needed help, and my little sister was the one helping him. So when she died, I. . .I had to take over for her. That's why I helped Daddy." She nodded, but I could tell by the confusion in her eyes that she still didn't quite understand.

"Daddy said that we go help at the hospital today." She said quietly, then her eyes grew wide again. "Is that where your little sister was?" I wished that the four, almost five year old, in front of of me wasn't so smart.

"Yes." I jumped at the sound of the coffee pot going off behind me, "We're going to go make some little kids really happy."

*

My whole body was stiff as we walked into the building, my lips feeling as if they'd fall off the second I moved them.

I hadn't been in this building since. . . since she died.