hey guys, sorry again for taking so long to upload. there's just some stuff going on in my life right now that keeps me from writing. anyways, enjoy! oh, and if you're under 13... i don't know if you should read on. i mean , it doesn't go THAT far, but still...a little far. okay thanx again for being so patient! xx
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samantha's pov :
my parents were fighting with eachother, my parents were fighting with me, adolfo's fighting with me, and even sarah doesn't seem to care at all. it's like everyone's abanding on me. why? is this karma? no, it can't be. i've always been good. well, most of the time.
i had no one else to shout at, so i shouted at god. 'why god?! why , why are you letting this happen?!' i've always been a good person, i've never done anything wrong!' i waited a few moments to catch my breath and come to the realisation that it's stupid to do this. like he's the one causing all the mess. i shouldn't be shouting at him. 'sorry god. i didn't mean to blaim you.' i just....i just feel awful.' ibraught my hands to my face to find out that it was already wet. and so were my hands now. was i crying so much i didn't even notice anymore? i cried for a few minutes, again, when i heard a silent voice in the back of my mind : what does it even matter anymore? nobody cares you're crying,nobody cares you're sad. nobody cares you're alive. i regognised this voice. i promised myself to pray everytime i hear this voice. cause it always helped me and made me feel better a bit. so i started praying. 'lord, help me please. i don't know what to do, and everyone hates me.'first adolfo, then my parents, then my parents hating eachother because of me, then sarah.' what do i do? please, help me.' i wasn't done speaking and i felt a warm feeling come over me, causing me to smile and wipe away my tears. 'thank you. even when it's hard, i know you're always there for me.' i just sat there, crying and smiling at the same time. the warm, happy feeling still there. it was like i wasn't alone anymore.
then my phone buzzed.
hot blonde :
hey , wanna hang out?
samantha :
sorry, there's a lot going on right now, and i don't really feel like going out with a mascara covered face.
michael...forgot about him. guess not everyone hates me after all...
after a couple of minutes the door rang. i was shocked and removed my mascara really quick, walking to the door. when i opened it, i saw my only true friend standing in front of me. well, besides from god. 'hey'. he said really tender and caring. he looked at me like i could easily break every moment.he's so sweet.
'oh, come here.' he extended his arms and i accepted his hug, burrying my face into his neck. and tearms came out...again. 'you don't even know how much it hurts for me to see you cry. please know that, whatever it is you're dealing with, i'm here for you. '
he's seriously the only one in this world i can truly trust. he is here for me, while everyone's abanding on me. why couldn't i have seen that the only guy who truly cares about me, was here the whole time. and i friendzoned him, continuing to let my heart being molestated by a bad guy. what was i doing? he doen't deserve that.
he pulled back and planted a kiss on my forehead. then i couldn't stop my urges. and i didn't want to anymore. so i planted a kiss on his lips. i knew what i did was wrong. but , maybe because of that, it felt so good. i felt the heat from his hands carressing my thigh like it was made out of polish. he was so careful with me, that's so sweet. he actually deserves me. i paused the kiss to catch my breath and say that he doesn't need to be so careful with me. 'it's not that i could eaasily break.' he stared at me for a few moments. he then smiled and placed his hands under my butt, pressing me upwards. i put my legs around him, still kissing hungryly, just like they do in movies right before they...oh wait. i don't wanna do that do i? although i didn't want this to stop either. it was hard to think when you had to focus on kissing. still, after a few moments i think i made up my mind. actually why not? screw everyone, i'm gonna do it. he has been waiting enough. i paused the kiss again and swallowed. he looked at me with eyes full of lust. 'do you...let's go to my bedroom.' i already said it before i realised this was stupid. he was shocked at first, but that soon was replaced by a huge smirk. 'alright then.' this side of him i don't like. he is really sweet and fun, but when he thinks he has a shot he just...changes. just like he put his arm around me at te playground...that wasn't really him either. but i didn't have a lot of time to think about it, cause he soon replaced his lips on mine again, and carried me to my bedroom. well...i alreay said it now. there's no turning back. he closed the door, never stopping the kiss. i secretly hoped someone would be at the door right now. or my phone would ring or...something! but i also didn't want it to stop. i actually enjoy it. but i dont think i'm ready to give up my virginity yet. and also, not to him. even though he deserves it more than anyone. he put me down on te bed, and layed on top of me. i then saw a devilish look in his eyes i've never seen before. you wont regret this, trust me. ill make sure youll enjoy every second of it. he put on a smirk that was matching his devilish eyes and kissed me again. but this time my eyes were wide open, not trusting him at all anymore.
