White and Pink // Jelix

VI

Jack's P.O.V

I held Felix close as I awaited his response. My knees shake slightly, and my heart pounds out of my chest.
"Jack... I..."
Here it comes.
"I can't do this." He murmured.
My heart felt as if it stopped for the slightest moment. My limbs stopped shaking. The ground beneath me seemed to sway under my feet. I just sat there, my brain not thinking. I gulped.
"P-Pardon?" I spoke as quiet as a mouse.
Felix's eyes sparkled, "I can't do this."
He looked away from me, leaving my hand empty in the air. I moved my hand back, not keeping my eyes off Felix. He stared up at the night sky, which didn't shine and twinkle as much as it did before. Felix sighed heavily and looked down at his feet. The cold air escaping his mouth. I saw tears in his eyes, but nothing came out.
"I'm sorry Jack."
Felix stood up and looked down at me. He placed his hands in his pockets.
"I can't be with you."
He took a few steps backwards, not losing eye contact with me. Then, a good three steps away, he turned around. And walked away. Leaving me here, alone, and shattered. I looked down at my feet. I squeezed my eyes shut, I wanted to cry. But I held it in. I looked up at the world around me. Things seemed darker, the cold is actually starting to bug me now, the snowman we built just stood there; lifeless. This calming and lovely aura was now dark and depressing. I carefully stood up and walked over to the snowman. I went to grab my hat. I stretched out my hand; until the wind blew my hat away. The hat flew and twirled away from me in the wind. At this point, I didn't care. I left my relaxing little secret-like area.

I arrived at the car. Felix was inside, looking out the window away from me. I entered the car and looked at him. He didn't even budge. I started up the car and turned on the headlights. I backed out of the parking lot, and started to drive. It was silent, and awkward. Silent, and sad. Silent, and deadly. The world outside was pitch black, other than our headlights and the grey road ahead. My look over out of the corner of my eyes; I can barely see Felix. Dammit, okay. I turn my head slowly at Felix, he's looking out the window. I quickly turn my head back to the road. I sigh heavily, yet silently.

The rest of the car ride Felix didn't move and neither did I. We kept silent.

I pulled into Felix's driveway and stopped the car. I didn't look at him. I perched my lips tight and looked out the window. Although, my eyes made my way over to Felix. He was staring up at his house, a frown on his face.
"I'm sorry..." I muttered.
He didn't speak.
Felix stepped out of the car. Before he shut the door he faced me.
"Listen. Today, I enjoyed myself. But I don't think I can love anyone."
"Yeah. I understand."
His face grew sad, "When I fell in love, it was the best thing in the world. I was so happy. But then.."
He sniffled a bit, I looked over at him in worry.
"B-But then he... He left me... A-And I..."
He was about to cry, "Felix I-!"
Felix sighed, "And I never wanted love again. Because it wouldn't be as good. Or I wouldn't be happy."
He shut his car door and walked away to his house. I quickly jumped out of the car.
"Felix wait!"
He turned around. He had a few tears. When he looked at me, my heart ached. "I'm sorry... And I know you probably don't want to see me again... And I understand."
Felix did not respond. The sound of the crickets in the night filled out silence as we just stared at each other. I'm sorry, was all I could think. I awaited his response.

But Felix furred his eyebrows, and turned around. He walked into his house. I stretched my hand out after him. The door slammed shut and all my muscles relaxed. I felt tears fill my eyes. My retracted my hand back to myself and clenched my fist. I went back into my car, drove out of his driveway and into mine. I slowly let go of the wheel. I sighed and closed my eyes. Thoughts filled my mind, making me cry. I'll probably never see Felix again.