What I Left Behind

What I Left Behind- Chapter 54

 

Chapter 54 

Blake's POV

"Do you want anything to eat? I made pasta." Ethan said from the kitchen as I was lying on the couches.

I didn't bother responding. He knew my answer.

A few seconds later, he was standing in front of me with a plate of pasta in his hand.

"Eat this." He demanded shoving the plate in front of me.

"Not hungry." I replied pushing the plate away.

Ethan shot me a pained expression before setting the plate of food on the table.

"You need to eat Blake. This isn't healthy for you." He responded sitting beside me.

I didn't bother responding to that either.

A silence fell over us. It was something I was accustomed to over the past three weeks since I've lost my baby.

Ethan had been nothing but a supporting husband to me but I couldn't move past this.

I tried to every day yet my body would refuse. It would literally reject any sort of moving forward I would tell myself I'd do the night before. I was never hungry or in the mood to hang out with Charlie or Drew, and I the worse part was is that I didn't even let Ethan touch me.

Whenever he did, I'd feel as if I'd break down.

 I didn't want him to see that I was some weak human being that was constantly a mess.

He didn't need to see that.

I could see that he hurt everyday.

 It hurt me even more to see that he was in pain and I wouldn't even try to comfort him.

I knew I needed to get over myself and stop being selfish but it was hard.

"You should be in school." I said softly to him breaking the silence.

"I'll be okay. One class wont hurt." He replied sadly.

"You've missed yesterday as well. And it's only the first week. You need to go." I told him, this time turning my gaze to face him.

He stared at me with worry in his eyes and I knew at that moment that I needed to put on my big girl pants and grow up.

"I'll be fine. I promise." I told him giving him the best smile I could.

He looked the least bit convinced.

I bit my lip and grabbed the plate of pasta on the table, "See? I'm fine. Now go." I told him bringing a forkful of pasta to my mouth and eating it.

My stomach began to tighten as I swallowed down the noodles at its unfamiliarity.

He squinted his eyes before responding, "Do you want me to call Charlie over? I don't want you to be alone." He responded softly.

I shook my head, "No. It's okay, really. I think some alone time will do me good." I replied honestly.

He nodded his head but still looked unconvinced.

"Call me if you need anything, okay?" He asked.

"Okay." I responded.

He leaned in for a kiss but I turned my face away causing him to kiss my cheek.

He shot me a hurt expression causing my heart to break even more.

"Ethan..." I started to say apologetically.