goner | j.t.

{five}

it was now closing time and i still wish i knew more about, josh... i think his name was?

yeah, josh.
i like that name.

i started to get my bag together so i could leave, but brendon stopped me before i could walk out.

"you know... i saw you talking with that guy earlier. you looked the happiest i've seen you in a while." he said smirking.

i blushed, but looked away because i knew he would try and make fun of me. "what, what do you mean?" i obviously knew where he was going with this.

"don't think i didn't see you blushing when you were talking to him."

"i-i don't know what you're taking about brendon. i might have just been happy to be having a conversation with another person for once instead of you, but that's all." i didn't mean for that to come out so harsh. he just looked at me.

"fine tyler, i get it. but i just want to help you, you know that right?" he stops and looks down for a moment. "i talk to you cause i'm your friend, the only friend you've had for a long time now. i care about you, maybe more than you think, and i'm sorry because i know you're probably sick of me by now, everyone gets tired of me eventually." he said looking me in the eye, nothing but sadness in his voice.

"brendon no, i'm sorry, i didn-" he cut me off before i could finish.

"forget about it, just, have a nice night tyler." he said walking out the door. i just stood there, wishing i had never said anything.

you're a real idiot tyler.

"shut up, please just shut up." i said closing my eyes, trying to ignore the voice in my head that could only make things worse.

he doesn't want anything to do with you now, you blew your only chance of having a friend.

"i said leave me alone!" i started yelling, letting tears flow down my face. i needed a friend, and i messed everything up, i shouldn't have said that. i don't know why i did.

i wanted to leave and go back home, there's something i wanted.

something i needed.

i tried to shake the voice out of my head and walk outside. i took the keys out of my pocket and locked the door behind me, tears staining my face.

i looked around the parking lot, but brendon's car was long gone.

putting my hood on, i started to walk away, but slowed down slightly when i heard someone's voice behind me.

"h-hey, um tyler, right?" i was about to turn around and look to see who it was, but then i realized what i must look like right now.

keep walking tyler, don't turn around. just go home like you wanted to, do not turn around.

i kept walking, not wanting anyone to see me like this, not now.

"tyler!" the person shouted this time, probably thinking i didn't hear them.

i didn't want to look back, but i wanted to know who was trying to talk to me.

"i-i'm sorry, i have to go." i said picking up my pace, hoping that whoever it was wasn't still following me.

"sorry, i just thought we could maybe, talk for a second. i don't know, just- never mind." the person stopped talking, and i began to feel bad.

don't do it tyler, just ignore them, keep walking.

disregarding everything the voice inside my head was telling me to do, i turned around.

the person was walking away, and it looked like - like josh? i quickly wiped my eyes and ran to catch up with him, feeling bad for ignoring him before.

"wait, josh!" i yelled hoping he would hear me.

he stopped walking and turned around, locking his eyes with mine.

"h-hey, i'm sorry, if i had known it was you i would've stopped." i said, still walking towards him.

"it's alright, if you have somewhere to be i don't want to slow you down, we can talk some oth-" i cut him off before he could finish.

"no, um now is good. i might have lied when i said i had to go, i've just had a long day i guess." i said looking down, thinking about what happened to brendon and i back in the store.

"oh, well are you alright? you look like you've been cr-"

"no i'm fine! i'm okay, really." i said a little too happy.

no you're not.

'shut up.'

"that's good," he said with a look of uncertainty on his face.

he continued, "listen um, do you maybe want to hang out sometime, you know, get a coffee somewhere and just get to know each other more? we already have a lot in common, i think we could become great friends."

"yeah, of course... um, do you want my number? just so it will be easier to get in touch with each other."

"yeah, that'd be great." he replied, taking his phone out and letting me give him my information.

"so, i'll text you later?"

"okay, bye josh, nice meeting you again."

"you too, goodnight tyler." and with that, he walked back to his car.

i walked away with a smile on my face, knowing that something good could come out of meeting josh, and i hoped that something good did happen.

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FUCKING GARBAGE AKJBDSJHWKFBO. i had fucking writer's block this whole time and i want to kill myself oh my god. @odetodunn knows how long this took me, #imdunwitheverything. anyways i hope you like my trash, i'll try to update faster next time, peace frens.