The Grey Zone

Chapter 7 (part*1*)

Chapter 7 (part *1*)

The first week after the whole Marakuja episode was terrible. The day after that evening, it really drowned on me. 

At that moment I found security in being in groups. If I was surrounded by people nothing could happen. At least this is what I liked to think.

Even though they haven't made a move, every time I was alone I couldn't help but be scared, and unfortunately, that happened a lot. I would try and stay with the girls whenever I could after school, but they were both very busy: Jenni with soccer and Kathy with kick-boxing. And since my parents were away the most of the time, that made me one lonely daughter.

Actually lately they have been working a lot more than usual... they almost lived on their job. Even on Sunday... We were supposed to have our family day, but I guess we all had our minds on something else. 

We managed to spend some time together in the morning.  Breakfast was great with homemade waffles and pancakes. 

I was modifying my computer system with my father, while my mother talked on the phone. I was guessing it was work related, given her serious face. After her quite long call, my parent's exchanged a worried look and after a brief "we're so sorry sweety, there's an emergency, promise we'll make it up to you", they rushed back to work.

I didn't bother to ask what was the problem because I knew they wouldn't answer anyway. 

But that's a different story. The point is that now I am alone way too often.  And this resulted in me barricading myself in my house, never leaving unless necessary. 

I know, I'm probably exaggerating. The rational side of me knows that if they wanted to come after me, they would have done it already. Plus it's likely that they don't even know who I am or where I live. 

Hell, Scar guy might have not even mentioned me to his gang mates, as it wouldn't be smart of him, since I did escape. 

Whoever this "Boss" was, I don't think he would be very forgiving.

But still, my irrational self wasn't reassured. It kept thinking about a lot of "what if..." situations. Especially after Derrick's revelations about the missing people. Even though I'm not sure the two things are related. But you never know...

After two weeks passed, I was finally able to relax about this whole situation. Even my irrational self, admitted that enough time had passed, and they couldn't possibly be looking for me. 

I think my mind blew this whole situation out of proportion. I was probably seeing things that weren't there. Something that, lately, seemed to be happening way too often.

Enough was enough! It was time to take back control of my life, I couldn't let any event, (real or not), affect my life like this. This nonsense needed to stop. 

I couldn't go on hiding in my house like a scared little mouse, I was going to start running again, because God only knew how much I missed it and to hell with stupid fictitious lights. 

And most importantly I was going to start practicing my fighting skills... everything Jordan thought me was going to be useful, but it wouldn't be enough. 

Youtube would be a nice start, but eventually going to a real course would be the best. 

If I ever found myself in that type of situation again, I would be able to defend myself. 

Thinking about it now, I felt ashamed of how powerless and helpless I was.  Never again would I let fear control me like that. I would do everything in my power to fight it. And as Jordan said, if, in the end, I did loose, then I would know that I tried my damn best to get out of it!